


Lost and Found

by nesr13



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst AF, College AU, Comedy, Fluff, Gay, M/M, Multi, Sexual Content, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 04:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8518885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nesr13/pseuds/nesr13
Summary: He stared with a fearful expression, tears flooding his eyes, as they closed the ambulance doors. All he could remember from that night was the sight of the boys long, blonde hair drenched in dark red from the blood escaping his head, his lips purple from the lack of oxygen in his lungs. December 24th, Christmas Eve-The night Seungcheol was convinced he had killed the boy he loved.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! My hands have been itching to write a jeongcheol fic for months now and I'm finally going for it. This is my first fic but I've been working on it for awhile so it shouldn't be too bad hehe. I would also like to add that, yes, there will be slight cheolsoo in this fic due to them being best friends. But just keep in mind that Jisoo plays a big part in this story so that everything connects and makes sense in the end. I also posted this on AFF if it seems familiar to any of you guys. Any feedback is appreciated! Enjoy :}

The sudden sound of Seungcheols alarm wakes him up from his nightmare.

 

"Again?" he says quietly, as he slowly opens his eyes, still dazed, and closes them shut.

_Distant but frightening screams, the sounds of ambulance sirens ringing in the back of his head, his vision blurred from the tears that began to fill his dark eyes, and then-- him, the long-haired boy..._

Seungcheol's eyelids flew open, his breath shaky. He tried to focus on the little dust specks in the peaking sunlight, waiting for his eyes to adjust while his breathing went back to normal. Familiarity began to flow back into his head and the light floral scent of his room filled his nose. He stared at his beige colored ceiling for what felt like a moment until his eyes wandered to his alarm.

_7:45 a.m._

A long sigh escaped his lips as he ran his fingers through his dark locks, slightly damp from his sweat. He slowly got ready even though he knew damn well that he was going to be late for his first day back to college.

 _It's my last year,_ he thought to himself. _Who's going to care right?_

Heck, it was college. No one cared whether you showed up or not, it was your own responsibility... which, for the most part, Seungcheol lacked in recently.

He finally finished getting ready; wearing a white loose fitted tee, a beige jacket, a thick black scarf, blue jeans and white shoes.

Seungcheol walked out of his room and saw that his roommate had already left. He drank a glass of water out of his favorite red and white cup, and was out the door by 8:15-- class started at 8.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

The commute to school didn't take up a lot of time, depending on if you take the long way or short way, Seungcheol always took the long way which was usually a 15 minute bus ride straight to school. He got to class by 8:35 and of course when he walked in, all eyes were on him. He respectfully bowed but his psychology professor barely glanced at him for a second. Seungcheol continued making his way to an empty seat, as he walked pass the window he caught a glint of blonde hair on the side of his eye.

_Blonde? All students here have always had black or brown hair, some of them would color their hair actual colors but I don't recall seeing blonde..._

He stopped in his tracks, bit his lip and looked out the window again. Nothing.

Seungcheol was probably just imagining things and so he walked to an empty seat next to a female student who couldn't seem to stop staring at him with her googly eyes. He was ready to ditch because he was way too tired to deal with her, but he decided to just stare straight at the white board for the remaining period of class.

"Jeez, why the hell did that class feel so long", he said while rubbing his eyes when he felt a light tap on his shoulder. If he hadn't been standing still, he probably wouldn't have felt it honestly. He opened his eyes to see a female student smiling widely in front of him.

Oh great. It's googly eyes, he sighed. "What's up?"

"It's so nice to see that we're coincidentally in the same Psychology class again!" she said while bouncing up and down.

"Uhh...again?", Seungcheol asked, a bit confused. "Do we know each other?"

The bubbly girl looked hurt, "Seungcheol! We've been in the same psychology class for almost 4 years! Remember?"

Seungcheol stared at her with narrowed eyes and began to walk to his next class. _Right...coincidentally...uh huh._

"Ugh, I'm Younghee", she exclaimed while trying to keep up with Seungcheols pace.

"Oh right right, Youngmi" he said while yawning.

She looked like she was about to explode, "Young-HEE!", she yelled. "Never mind already, anyways--"

Seungcheol wasn't exactly paying attention to where he was walking until he suddenly bumped into someone.

"There you are! I wasn't sure what time your first class started so I left without you. I was waiting for you at the entrance of the school", a gentle voice said.

Seungcheol looked up to see the school Prince standing in front of him, who was also his best friend and roommate, Hong Jisoo, or more commonly known around school as Joshua. The boy had dark brown hair, styled up revealing his forehead. His gentle, feline features never failed to make Seungcheols heart flutter a bit-- I mean, he was a really pretty boy.

The school Prince turned to the female student, "Younghee what's up!", he flashed his cat like smile.

She instantly forgot about Cheol and she stared at Jisoo for a few seconds before answering, "H-hello!", she bowed and continued to stare at him.

Seungcheol let out a long sigh. "Sorry, I woke up late... Again". He glanced at Younghee, "Were you gonna say something?"

She snapped out of it and said, "Oh! Uhm, I was wondering if--" The sudden wave of female students cut her off as they screamed and surrounded the school Prince.

Seungcheol stood there, waiting for them to leave when he caught that glint of blonde hair on the side of his eye again. He kept trying to look through the crowd of students to see if he could spot it again. Nothing.

Younghee tapped on Seungcheols shoulder making him jump, "I'll just tell you tomorrow, I gotta get to class", she smiled.

"Okay, see ya", he replied.

The swarm of female students died down after 5 minutes and Jisoo walked to his best friends side, "Shall we head to class?"

"How's your fan club doing?", Seungcheol teased gesturing to the group of girls that were still squealing as they made their way down the hall.

Jisoo looked at him with wide eyes. "Hey now don't be jealous", he teased back. "Believe it or not, they were actually inviting us to karaoke for Christmas", he continued.

Seungcheol stopped in his tracks. He didn't even realize it was going to be December in a few months. He did his best to brush off the fact that he had the worst gut wrenching feeling in his stomach by scoffing and said, "Did you just say 'us'? They invited me too? Isn't it a bit too early to be making plans for, you know--", he trailed off.

"Well yeah, although you can be kind of... cold towards people, you're still ranked as one of the most attractive guys in school, c'mon it'll be fuuuun", Jisoo said and poked him in the stomach jokingly. Seungcheol rolled his eyes in response.

A couple more students had approached the school Prince, some male, some female. It always varied.

They both finally made their way to History class. Seungcheol didn't know what was going on half the time because he kept spacing out so Jisoo kept hitting his forehead with his pen, scolding him to pay attention. This went on until class was practically over.

"Finally it's lunch time." Seungcheol felt like he was about to pass out since he didn't have time to eat breakfast.

"Let me guess", Jisoo said. "You didn't eat breakfast and all you have in your system right now is water."

Seungcheol covered his mouth with his hands and gasped, "Are you spying on me?"

The latter punched him in the shoulder. Seungcheol winced and stared at him in disbelief. "Hey!", he yelled while rubbing his shoulder.

"No you idiot. You always get like this during this time of the year, I've noticed it 7 years ago since we met in our freshman year of high school", Jisoo almost yelled back, his eyes glinting with what seemed like sadness. Jisoo broke eye contact with him and looked at the floor.

Seungcheol stared at him for a few seconds and continued walking towards the cafeteria.

"Cheol...", Jisoo almost whispered, "if there's something you want to talk about or if there's anything you need to tell me--"

"It's nothing", he cut him off.

Seungcheol, still holding his shoulder, took a peak at Jisoo and he wanted to kill himself for the expression he saw on his best friend. It had looked like he actually wanted to cry.

Seungcheol was about to speak, when Jisoo lifted his head and suddenly asked, "Seungcheol... does the name 'Jeonghan' sound familiar to you at all?"

A sudden wave of chills passed through Seungcheol's body, he froze. His breathing hitched as his hands began to shake a little. "Where did you hear that name?" he said slowly.

Jisoo glanced at Seungcheols shaking hands before he answered. "You say it a lot when you're having those night terrors", he said gently. "The first time I heard you mention that name was in high school when we had that sleepover during winter break, I never said anything about it because I thought it was nothing", he continued. "But when we became roommates almost 4 years ago, you mentioned it again, and from then on it was just a continuous cycle when the end of the year came around."

_Seriously? Of all times to bring up my night terrors, you decide to bring it up in school. Jesus Christ._

Seungcheol felt like his legs were about to give in. He wanted to run away. He wanted to be anywhere but here. But just thinking about Jisoo having to deal with his night terrors for so long made his heart ache. Seungcheol wasn't sure what to say to him at that point.

"Hey guys!", the sudden voice made Seungcheol yelp, and thankfully, the tension halted.

Jisoo looked at his best friend, snickering a little. "What the hell was that?"

Seungcheol turned around to see a toothy grin, not even a foot away from his face.

"You better back up a little if you wanna keep those precious canines of yours, Kim Mingyu", he said with a smirk. The younger boy straighted out immediately and covered his mouth.

 _Seriously... this kid is tall for a 2nd year student. He could be a model if he wanted to_ , Seungcheol thought to himself.

"You really shouldn't sneak up on your elders like that", a deep voice said.

This time it was Mingyu who let out an even higher yelp. The fair-skinned boy beside him let out a soft giggle and ruffled Mingyu's nicely styled, dirty-blonde hair.

"Hey, Wonwoo! Do you have any idea how long it took me to do my hair this morning?", Mingyu whined.

"Of course I do, I was waiting outside our bathroom door telling you to hurry up", he said. The two locked eyes and their faces turned as red as a lobster.

"Uhm, if you two love birds are done talking about your wonderful morning, I'd like to head to class", Seungcheol snickered.

Mingyu snapped out of it while Wonwoo looked down, still red. "No wait wait!", Mingyu grabbed Seungcheol's arm. "Wonwoo and I were wondering if you and Jisoo wanted to grab a bite when class is over", he flashed his toothy grin again.

"Uhh... idunno", Seungcheol began.

"Of course we would", Josh chimed in from behind. He walked next to his best friend and slung his arm over his shoulder. Jisoo looked at him with pleading eyes. Seungcheol could never say no to that look.

He let out a long sigh. "Alright fine, but I get to choose where we're eating".

"Fair enough", said Jisoo with his cat like smile.

 

* * *

 

 

Their last class went by quickly and they were all headed to the train station.

Seungcheol ended up choosing hot pot due to the cold weather that had been slicing through his clothes.No one argued with his decision because, hell, the weather was taking a toll on all of them. They made their way to the restaurant and ate until they felt like they would pass out in their seats. Mingyu suggested they walk around for a bit, and so they did. None of them were paying attention to the time since Mingyu could talk on and on and on, but Wonwoo noticed it started getting dark out.

Wonwoo turned to the other three who were still talking up a storm, "As fun as this was, I think it's time we head home", he looked at Mingyu. The younger instantly caught his eye. "Oh right, wouldn't wanna miss the new episode of his favorite cooking show.", Mingyu said.

Wonwoo's hand met Mingyus head wiith a slap with a 'watch when we get back home' look on his face.

He faced the older two in front of him, "Thanks for hanging out with us, we didn't really get to see each other during summer break so we thought this would be a good idea to catch up again", Wonwoo said.

"Yeah!", Mingyu nearly shouted. "Thanks for tagging along."

"It was fun, thanks for inviting us. See you guys at school tomorrow?" Seungcheol said.

"Sure thing!", Mingyu said. Wonwoo smiled at them, gave Seungcheol one last glance and waved goodbye.

"See ya guys", Jisoo called out.

They could see Wonwoo threatening to give Mingyu another slap to his head right before heading their separate ways.

"Ahhhh", Jisoo let out a long sigh. "Mingyu sure can talk, glad to see he's still the same."

"Yeah", Seungcheol said.

The latter could clearly tell his best friends mind was else where, so he just let them walk in silence. They continued on walking closely for awhile, their shoulders brushing occasionally.

"Hey...", Jisoo said after a few minutes of silence passed.

Seungcheol turned to look at his best friend.

"Uhm, I-I'm sorry for bringing that up so suddenly. You seemed really bothered and I just wanted to apologize. I didn't mean to--"

"Don't worry." Seungcheol said. To be honest, he had been enjoying the evening they were having so much that he actually forgotten all about what happened earlier today. God damn it.

"I just hope you're not upset or anything." Jisoo said.

"Well, it did take me by surprise... but honestly, I'm not upset. I get that you're just worried about me I guess.", Seungcheol said.

"Of course I am!", Jisoo exclaimed. "Imagine if it were me having night terrors for 7 years, and you wanted to help me but you didn't know what to do."

"Look, can we not talk about... this..", Seungcheol trailed off and suddenly stopped walking.

Jisoo looked at Seungcheol, but Seungcheol was staring forward, eyes locked ahead. "Hey, what's wrong?" Jisoo said.

They had been walking aimlessly and Seungcheol didn't even realize that they were near Han River. "When did we... get here...", Seungcheol stared at the railings in front of them and felt his body go cold again, his legs went numb as if someone had injected them with anesthesia and he fell to his knees.

Jisoo watched his best friend fall but was in front of him within a matter of seconds. "Seungcheol!", Jisoo yelled, shaking him and trying to get him to focus. But Seungcheol could hardly hear Jisoo saying his name. His ears were ringing and everything just sounded muffled, as if they were underwater. He couldn't decipher anything that was going on around him right now when all of a sudden, an image from his nightmare had appeared in his head and he yelled out in pain.

The long-haired boy flashed into his mind.

"Cheol snap out of it! Talk to me bud, what's going on?!", Jisoo pleaded. But Seungcheol brought his hands over his ears as if he were trying to keep the images from getting into his head.

_What the fuck! I'm not even asleep so why is this happening right now! I don't want to remember, I don't want to remember, I don't want to remember, he kept repeating to himself. Why, why, why._

The pain in his head was getting worse by the second. His heart felt like it as about to burst right out of his chest. Seungcheol's whole body started quivering as a quiet sob escaped from the back of his throat.

" _Seungcheol._ " , a familiar voice echoed throughout his head.

His head snapped up. His eyes filled to the brim with tears.

"Are you okay? Seungcheol? Look at me!", Jisoo took Seungcheol's face in between his hands forcing him to meet his eyes.

"Did you hear that?", Seungcheol breathed, trying to look around, his tears overflowing down his cheeks.

"No all I could hear was you yelling. Are you alright? What happened? Tell me what to do", Jisoo's voice cracked a little.

Seungcheol's glassy eyes met Jisoo's. "I'm sorry. I don't know what happened," his breath still shaky. "I don't know what's going on" he put his hands over his face.

Jisoo stared at Seungcheol for a few seconds and had his arms wrapped around him not long after. His breathing started to even out again as he rested his forehead on the latters shoulder. Seungcheol sunk into his embrace and didn't realize how weak his body felt until Jisoo was practically supporting almost all of his weight. They stayed like that for almost half an hour.

Hoping to distract his best friend a little, Jisoo teased, "Jeez man when did you get so heavy?", acting as if he was beginning to struggle under Seungcheol's weight.

"Shut up." Seungcheol said behind a smile in his voice.

Jisoo hesitated but pulled away from him and grabbed his arms, helping Seungcheol get to his feet. The numbing in his legs had started to disappear resulting in the pain catching up to his knees when his legs gave out, making him wince. Seungcheol locked his eyes on the ground, keeping himself from looking out into the river. His legs still weak as he held on to Jisoo for support while they walked back to their apartment.

About 15 minutes later, they finally reached their front door when Seungcheol stopped. "I think I'm ready." he said.

Jisoo looked at him a bit confused.

Seungcheol looked down and shuffled his fingers. "My night terrors- I mean, memories from my past I guess... I'm ready to talk about it."

The latter looked at his best friend with worry. "Well, if you say you are then... I'm all ears", Jisoo said softly.

 

* * *

 

 

They sat on the kitchen table for a few minutes. Seungcheol played around with his favorite red and white cup before he spoke.

"I was 13 years old. And believe it or not, I was in love.", he smiled sadly. "He made me feel like I could take on the world. He made me feel important, loved, like I was someone who belonged in this fucked up place. He was a beautiful person inside and out, his eyes had a deep warm feeling to them, his hair was golden, reaching just past his shoulders making him look like an actual angel honestly...his smile, I couldn't get enough of-- and his laugh, oh his laugh, when he laughed all of his teeth would show...it was the second most beautiful sound on Earth... first was his voice. You wouldn't believe how beautiful his voice was, it was comforting, smooth, very different in the best way of course. He had the most gentle personality but hell, his humor was definitely something. He was everything to me. And even though my parents were always getting into arguments, too busy yelling to pay attention to their little boy... He came along and made me look forward to the next day. We met in the beginning of summer.. I didn't know much about his family background, I never asked because he never explicitly mentioned any of that kind of stuff. All he told me was his name and that he lived around the neighborhood. We were both lonely kids, so we decided to see each other every day even if it was just for a moment. I learned all about his likes and dislikes. I bought him chocolate once and he ate the whole thing, I had no idea he didn't exactly have a sweet tooth until after-- but he ate it anyways, what an idiot honestly." Seungcheol chuckled.

Jisoo shuffled in his seat as he watched Seungcheol carefully.

"We told each other our deepest secrets, our biggest dreams. He'd lead the way to places I never even knew existed.", he continued. "I spent a lot of time with him just listening to his stories and imaginations, but I still felt like there was a big gap between us. It was unfortunate really... but the next thing I knew, I'd fallen for him. I didn't know when it happened but I loved him with everything I had." Seungcheol hardly felt his tears rolling down his face. "I loved him so much. But I was still careless, I didn't know about the burdens he carried. I never paid attention to the fact that there was always this hidden sadness in his eyes. I was so stupid. If I had- if I had just...", he trailed off, fighting the sobs at the back of his throat. Seungcheol managed to calm himself and began again. "One day, he told me that he loved me, and that everything was going to be okay no matter what happened. I couldn't express how happy I was, so I kissed him. It was embarassing because it was the first time for both of us. I got us rings that we'd wear on our pinky, like a promise ring. We'd pinky promise to always come back to each other everyday." He reached for the chain around his neck that revealed a ring hanging loosely from it. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth but was gone just as quick. "I believed him..I believed he loved me and that everything was going to be okay, I always trusted his word. Back then, I couldn't imagine me living in a world without him in it, it was my biggest fear...but before I knew it, I was forced to face that fear."

Seungcheol looked up at Jisoo with the saddest expression, a broken smile on his face and whispered, "He jumped....the bridge at Han River- he jumped."

This time it was Jisoo's tears that began to fall.

"I was out with my mom when it happened. It was Christmas Eve and we were walking home under the bridge after finishing up last minute shopping for gifts. There was a crowd surrounding an ambulance..and that's when I saw him. His long hair was a shade darker not just because it was wet but because there was blood, his what used to be peach colored lips turned purple because he wasn't breathing. There was a woman on her knees next to him screaming, wailing almost. It must have been his mom but my eyes were locked on only him and suddenly my legs started running towards him as I cried out his name. My mom, probably confused, held me back. I struggled with every ounce of strength I had and managed to break free, but one of the medics had caught me just a few feet from the stretcher. My vision was blurred, I was thankful that it was because I know if I had seen him clearly, in that state..." Seungcheol paused and shook his head.

"That same day, he talked about things like _'What if I disappeared?' and 'Would you miss me if I left?'_ , but I was too focused on what I wanted to get him for Christmas that I didn't even catch what he said. God, I was stupid. He said those things, like he was hoping I'd save him but I didn't listen." Seungcheol said through his teeth and began to sob. Jisoo, tears still running down his face, stood up and went over to Seungcheol and began to comfort him.

"Why was I so ignorant?!", he cried out. "I was fucking blind, I didn't bother to ask if he had any problems, I was a greedy fucking bastard and because of that I lost Jeonghan!", he yelled.

Jisoo held Seungcheol as tightly as he could, letting his best friend soak his sweater with tears. He waited until Seungcheols shoulders were no longer shaking uncontrollably, his sobs turning into hiccups. He then asked softly, "What about afterwards? Were you able to go to the hospital they took him to?"

Seungcheol sniffled, "I couldn't find him. I went to every hospital, every door in my neighborhood, even outside of my neighborhood and searched for days of any sign that he was still out there. All the information on his family was wiped out. I couldn't even find anything on Jeonghan himself." he said. "I searched for almost a year, but September came around, and so did my night terrors."

Jisoo couldn't believe the pain he had in the pit of his stomach. His best friend holding such an intense amount of hurt for so long, and he had no idea this whole time. Jisoo wished he could take away all his pain, the nightmares, the sadness. He swallowed back a sob.

"Thank you", Seungcheol said suddenly.

"Hm?", Jisoo said, surprised.

"Thank you for always being there for me, thank you for listening. You really are the most amazing best friend anyone could ask for." he said.

He grabbed Seungcheol by the shoulders. "I'm just glad you were able to talk to me about this. You can have the bath first, idunno if you know this but you're a mess." he teased.

Seungcheol stood up and pointed at Jisoo, "Hey! For your information you don't look any better yeknow!"

They both broke out in laughter. "Really though, thank you", Seungcheol said and headed towards the bathroom.

Jisoo smiled a reassuring smile at Seungcheol, waiting for the bathroom door to close. "Anything for you."

That night, Seungcheol didn't have another episode of night terrors. But he didn't dream either. I was just dark, nothingness. Either way, he was glad.

 

* * *

 

 

Seungcheol woke up feeling refreshed. His head still hurt a little from all the crying from the night before but he felt well-rested. His senses were adjusting and he smelt something..... something good. He threw on a shirt, walked out of his room and found Mingyu in the kitchen wearing an apron while Wonwoo was setting up the table with plates and utensils. _Where the hell is Josh?_ , he thought.

"Uhm. I don't recall inviting you guys over, I sure as hell don't recall saying yes to you guys to breaking into my apartment and making breakfast in my kitchen", Seungcheol said.

"Our kitchen.", Jisoo called from the bathroom. He washed his hands and walked over to the table, setting down the freshly made eggs.

 _Holy hell_ , Seungcheol thought as he glanced at Josh. _H_ _e looks like a friggin' zombie_.

"I called them over, I thought it'd be a good way to start the day off with some breakfast made by ours truly", he gestured to Mingyu who was flashing his canine smile.

"Did you just use the bathroom with the door open? And why do you look like you didn't sleep at all?", Seungcheol asked.

"Stop meddling over things like that and sit down already, class starts at 8!", Jisoo said firmly.

Seungcheol glanced at the clock on the stove after he sat down. _7:02am. Seriously, its still early._

Wonwoo and Mingyu joined them after passing out drinks.

"So what possessed you that made you wanna wake up so early?", Seungcheol said and stuffed his mouth with eggs.

Mingyu took a bite of his toast and said, "In case you haven't noticed within the past 3 years that we've known each other--"

"2 years", Seungcheol corrected the younger. "We knew Wonwoo for 3 years".

Wonwoo slapped Mingyu on his leg, "Hey! Chew your food before you talk!", then smiled at Seungcheol, "Go on."

"Details, details!", Mingyu said, waving Seungcheol off and stuck his tongue out at Wonwoo. "Anyways before I was rudely interrupted, in case you haven't noticed, Wonwoo and I are early risers meaning we actually like mornings and to be awake before the sun. The early bird gets the worm!", he explained.

"I have no idea what you're talking about but it's good to know you two love birds have something in common", Seungcheol said. He finished his water and stretched. "Welp, thanks for breakfast! I'm going back to bed--"

"OH NOOO, uh-uh, no you're not.", Jisoo debated. "If you go back to sleep now then you won't wake up for another hour, and class would have started by then", he said. "Besides, there's the new _Fire Emblem_ game that they're releasing today and I wanted to check it out before we head to school...so hurry up and get ready while we finish up here", Jisoo pointed over his shoulder towards the bathroom.

Seungcheol knew he wasn't going to hear the end if it if he argued back so he quickly got ready; throwing on a black sweater, a beige beanie, light blue jeans, and slipped on his brown Frye work boots.

They were out the door by 7:30 and headed to the mall.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

They got to the mall just a little after it opened so it was pretty empty. They got inside and it had already been filled with Halloween decorations.

 _It's still mid September, what even,_ Seungcheol thought to himself.

"Okay we don't have a lot of time so lets get in, buy the game, and get out", Jisoo said quietly to himself. The other three exchanged looks and headed towards the food court to get coffee.

"So what'd you do over summer?", Mingyu asked while they were waiting in line.

"Ehhh, not much. I was working part time at a convenience store to keep me busy and make some cash on the side", Seungcheol said nonchalantly. "What about you two love birds? Quality vacation time?", he teased.

Mingyu blushed and looked at Wonwoo, who wasn't paying attention since he had been ordering his drink. "U-uhm, well yes actually", Mingyu said. "We went to Jeju island to get some fresh air and for the record it was a lot of fun", he said proudly.

Seungcheol chuckled. "It's your turn to order".

Mingyu turned around and saw the barista waiting for him. "Ah, I'm sorry", he said as he bowed and then glared at Seungcheol.

Wonwoo was sitting at a table nearby with his earphones in, skimming through a book. Mingyu finished ordering and joined him.

"What can I get for you?", the barista said cheerfully.

Seungcheol looked at the menu and said, "Can I just get an iced--", he stopped mid sentence and stared at what seemed like the barista in front of him, but he was actually staring behind the barista, the window that revealed a small fraction of the back.

Blonde hair.

_No way, no way in hell. No friggin' way, he thought to himself. Don't you even dare move from this spot._

The figure walked out the back door and Seungcheol darted towards the nearest exit of the mall. He scaled the side of the mall to see if he could find the door that matched up with the coffee shop. He came across what seemed like it could be the door he was looking for but there was no one around. Seungcheol tried to open the door but it was locked.

"Hey!", a voice behind him said.

It made Seungcheol jump so hard that he nearly fell and crashed into the door. He turned around to see Jisoo looking at him with a confused expression.

"God damn it you scared the shit outta me!" Seungcheol said, trying to catch his breath.

Jisoo looked around, "What are you doing out here? You ran right past me and looked pale as a ghost."

"Huh? Oh, uh, w-well you see, I just, uhm", Seungcheol stammered.

"Nevermind", Jisoo said. "I got the game. Mingyu and Wonwoo are waiting for us so hurry up or we're gonna be late. Let's go let's go!", he chanted.

Seungcheol took one last glance around before heading back to the other two.

Mingyu was fixing a few strands of Wonwoo's midnight black hair when they reached the tables. Wonwoo slapped his hand away when he saw Seungcheol and Jisoo approaching them. "Ow jeez..", whined the younger as he caught sight of the elders, "Hey there you guys are!"

Mingyu looked at Seungcheol with wide eyes, "Damn you ran outta here faster than a rabbit escaping the death grasp of a fox", he said.

"Yeah, uhm, I thought I saw someone I knew but I guess I was wrong", Seungcheol said, looking a bit distracted by his surroundings. "Let's go."

The three looked at each other, following behind him.

They got to school just in time, a few minutes before class started. "See you guys later!", Mingyu said as he and Wonwoo walked to class together.

"You alright?", Jisoo asked the latter. "You still look kind of pale".

"Hm? Oh, yeah I'm okay don't worry", Seungcheol reassured Jisoo with a smile, revealing his dimples.

Jisoo's shoulders relaxed a bit. "Alright, well I'll see you after class...and at least try to pay attention to your proffesor!", he called out after Seungcheol.

He threw up an "OK" sign with his hand and walked to class.

"Ah, what a mess", Jisoo said with a small smile as he watched his best friend disappear down the hall.

Seungcheol got to class and made his way to an empty row. He didn't even notice someone was standing in front of him until they cleared their throat.

He looked up. Oh great, googly eyed girl. "Hey Youngmi", Seungcheol said.

"I can't believe you're insulting me this early in the morning, Choi Seungcheol", Younghee said through her teeth.

Seungcheol continued flipping through his textbook.

"Anyways, I have to talk to you about something after class, the thing from yesterday", she said as she played with her hair.

Still not bothering to look up from his textbook, "Okay", he answered flatly. A few minutes went by and class had already started but of course, Seungcheol who wasn't paying attention, stared blankly at the pictures in his textbook. He closed it and rested his forehead on the book.

Another sound of someone clearing their throat in front of him.

"What is it now Youngm--", Seungcheol began. He lifted his head, his mouth gaping wide open.

"Uhm...is this seat taken......", the voice trailed off.

Seungcheol couldn't believe what he was seeing. Golden blonde hair.

_I'm dreaming, I fell asleep in class and now I'm dreaming. There's no fucking way I'm awake right now._

The two stared at each other in silence until Seungcheol stood up from his seat, closed his eyes for a few seconds and opened them again.

_He's still there... no no this can't be real. No..._

"Jeonghan?", Seungcheol's voice came out as barely a whisper.

The blonde flinched a little at the sound of his voice, as if he was a deaf man, hearing for the first time.

"Seungcheol...", Jeonghan breathed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty short chapter, there was a lot going on with life at the time so please forgive me ;; but I'll write even more for the next one!

_Flashback:_

_"Pretty name", said the dark haired boy with a flirty smile._

_Jeonghan turned away, trying to hide the fact that his cheeks felt hot and was probably as red as a beet. He started to play with the grass that swayed gently near his feet to give him time to cool off._

_"So... you new around here? I don't think I've ever seen you before" he continued, stepping closer to get a good look at Jeonghan's face._

_"Uh, not really," he said, turning away. "I just don't usually hang out around here."_

_The dark haired boy caught a glimpse of Jeonghan's ear, which was now red, through his golden-blonde hair and chuckled._

_"Didn't know someone could get flustered so easily", he teased._

_Jeonghan stood up and quickly turned around, only to meet the dark haired boys forehead with his own._

_"OW!-"_

_"SHIT!-"_

_They both fell backwards, rubbing their foreheads in pain. Jeonghan's face turned even more red, but this time it was anger mixed with mostly embarrassment._

_"Jeez don't you know what personal space is?!" he nearly shouted._

_The boy laughed and put his hands up on either side of his head, "Sorry, I just wanted to get a better look at your face. It's not everyday I meet a boy who's prettier than most people I've seen."_

_That comment alone made Jeonghan's heart race faster than the first, he could already feel the blood rushing through his entire body and his face especially. He looked at the boy in surprise for the slightest second before clearing his throat, "Well it's not everyday I meet someone who doesn't misgender me."_

_"Well, Jeonghan," the boy got up to his feet and dusted himself off, "I"m Seungcheol, Choi Seungcheol. Pleased to make your acquaintance", he flashed a gummy smile as he held out his hand to help him up._

_Jeonghan couldn't help but notice the way his name rolled off his tongue in the most unfamiliar but comforting way, like he's heard his voice say it many times before this weird encounter._

_He glanced at his hand for a few seconds before taking it. Seungcheol hoisted him up, not knowing his own strength, he practically yanked Jeonghan causing his head to whip back. Their bodies met with a forceful impact and Jeonghan nearly got his breath knocked right out of his lungs, making him cough dryly. Although the clash didn't seem to effect Seungcheol at all._

_"Oh crap my bad," he said while trying to stifle a giggle._

What the hell, is this kid a physical trainer or something?

_Jeonghan didn't notice Seungcheol's arm that was supporting his body weight, tucked around his waist ever so gently._

_Seungcheol was patting his back, waiting for him to catch his breath. But when Jeonghan did notice the others arm around his waist, he froze, his eyes meeting the most warm, deep brown orbs he'd ever seen. The dark haired boy seemed to be caught in a trance just as much as Jeonghan._

_They stayed there, locked in on each others gaze for what seemed like awhile until Jeonghan cleared his throat._

_"Uhm, you can let go now."_

_"Huh?- Oh right sorry". Seungcheol let go quickly as if he touched a hot cookie pan straight out the oven. This time it was him who turned red with embarrassment as he looked at the ground._

_Jeonghan lost his composure and couldn't help but laugh at how the boy transitioned from being confident to being shy and flustered within the span of 2 seconds. The sudden sound made Seungcheol feel giddy all over. He smiled wholeheartedly as he felt the butterflies in his stomach go crazy._

So he can be this cute huh? _, he thought. What a smile..._

_The dark haired boy watched as the blonde slowly came back to his senses. "You're something else," Jeonghan said, looking up at Seungcheol, "I like you"._

_Seungcheol looked at him with wide eyes, a smile followed not long after. The blonde hadn't even given thought to what he had just said and started to stammer, "Wait no- not LIKE like- I mean as like a friend you know like how friends- uhm I-", he laughed nervously and sighed in defeat,"....I want to see you again, if that's okay with you." he murmured._

_It was quiet between the two for a bit until Jeonghan looked up to see Seungcheol had broken out in a quiet laughter, "Wow I can't believe how cute you can be", he teased. Jeonghan was about to fire back but Seungcheol cut him off by grabbing his hand, slightly shortening the gap between the two by taking a few steps forward. "Of course" his brown orbs meeting Jeonghan's once more._

_He got a better look at the dark haired boy._  Painfully handsome, _Jeonghan thought to himself._

_They were about the same age, same height, Seungcheol a few inches taller maybe. His skin smooth like porcelain. He may have been a 13 year old boy but you could still see he was physically fit, even through his white t-shirt. Being this up close to him, Jeonghan could see that his eyelashes were long. Is it weird that Jeonghan wanted Seungcheol to blink rapidly against his cheek? Maybe a little. His high nose bridge... the way his pink lips parted slightly, revealing his two front teeth._

_He stared at Seungcheol's mouth and subconsciously licked his own lips. Seungcheol bit his bottom lip, making Jeonghan wish he could just close the gap between their faces and-_

_"You okay?"_

_Jeonghan snapped out of his little daydream, flustered. "Yeah sorry", he turned away cupping his cheeks, hoping the curtain of his hair would hide his face._ Get ahold of yourself, you pubescent boy!

_He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned back around. "it's getting kind of late... mind if I walk you home?", Seungcheol asked._

_Jeonghan's eyes switched back and forth from Seungcheol to the sky, he didn't even notice the sun saying its goodbyes. "Ah it's okay, I don't live far from here."_

_To be honest, it was kind of a far walk but Jeonghan thought it'd be too much trouble for the boy to walk him all the way home._

_"Oh, alright then." Seungcheol respected his decision and turned around, but not before he brushed his lips against the blonde boys hair and whispered, "See you tomorrow". Jeonghan shivered at the warmth of the boys breath, tickling his ear. "See you", Jeonghan said, nearly breathless, not wanted him to pull back._

_Seungcheol gave Jeonghan one last gummy smile before they began to head opposite directions, along the bottom of Han River._

Love at first sight....I thought it only existed in books and movies _, Jeonghan thought, his mind hazy. The only thing he could see clearly was the dark haired boys face that lingered in the back of his head._

Lilac, _the smell lingered in Seungcheol's nose._ Pretty.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Present:

 

He opened his eyes again. The blonde boy, still standing in front of him, as pale as a ghost.

"Jeonghan...", Seungcheol whispered.

The blonde boy winced after hearing the dark haired boy say his name. Again, unfamiliar but comforting.

"Seungcheol." he said, his voice barely a whisper.

Mixed emotions filled Seungcheol's head, his ears started ringing. His legs locked in place. All this time, those glints of blonde hair wasn't just my imagination. His breathing hitched as he felt his entire body go numb. He tried to reach out to the blonde, but next thing he knew, his vision went black and he passed out.

 

 _Hot. Why is my head so hot?_ Seungcheol's eyes fluttered, a white ceiling appearing and disappearing from his vision. _J-Jeonghan.....he was there...Jeonghan..._

"Jeonghan!", Seungcheol yelled and sat up quickly, and to his surprise, he was greeted by a pair of arms wrapped around him. The familiar scent of lilac filling his lungs. He kept his eyes shut. _Oh great, I'm pretty sure I'm dead._

"I'm here", a voice so gentle, as if they didn't want to scare Seungcheol away.

_Yeah I'm definitely dead._

The grip around his neck tightened. That soft, gentle voice breaking out into sobs against Seungcheol's shoulder. Weirdly enough, he could feel his shoulder getting warmer. Seungcheol lifted his arms, stiffly, in response to the shaking body that was molded into his, and wrapped his arms around them. He didn't want to believe this was real, he didn't want to open his eyes and face something that could be gone within a matter of seconds. Seungcheol tried to ignore the fact that his tears had been escaping his eyes long before he even realized that this was no dream, no illusion. It was his turn to tighten his grip on the boy who was now sobbing into his shoulder. As much as he didn't want to, he loosened his grip on the blonde, grabbing hold of his now what seemed to be broad shoulders.

Seungcheol put his index finger under the blonde boys chin, "Jeonghan," his name tasting vaguely familiar in his mouth. "Look at me." he whispered.

The blonde boy, unable to keep himself from shaking as sobs escaped the back of his throat, met Seungcheol's eyes. He wasn't sure his heart had ever pounded so quickly in his life.

Seungcheol brought both his hands up to either side of Jeonghan's face, his thumbs softly stroking his cheekbones. His orbs still deep and warm. At that moment he wondered what Jeonghan's eyes had seen, what they had experienced while he was gone. He wanted to know everything, and what they held. But more than anything, he wanted to feel his lips against Jeonghan's. The burning desire had become unbearable, Seungcheol pressed his lips against Jeonghan's in a deep and long overdue kiss.

The warmth of his lips sent an electric like current through his body and Jeonghan melted into Seungcheol, throwing his arms around his neck once more, losing himself in the dark haired boys lips. Seungcheol's hands began to wander along Jeonghan's body, wanting to feel every inch and crevice of him.

Suddenly, a door flew open, breaking their kiss a little too soon, and only then did Seungcheol realize they were in the nurses office.

"Seung-"

"Jisoo", Seungcheol said, his voice coming out hoarse. "What are you doing here?"

His eyes flickered from Seungcheol to the blonde haired boy who looked like a damn train wreck, and back to Seungcheol. "I heard you fainted, I came as fast as I could..." his voice trailing off as his eyes traveled to Jeonghan again.

Jeonghan, who was now standing next to the bed that Seungcheol was resting on, shuffled restlessly under the awkward stare that Jisoo had held until Seungcheol broke the silence.

"Uhm, Ji-" he was stopped abruptly when Jisoo lifted his hand.

He took in a long breath and asked, "Is- is that him? The boy....", Jisoo pointed at Jeonghan, staring in disbelief.

Jeonghan looked at Seungcheol in confusion but Seungcheol refused to look at him. "What is he talking about?"

The blonde boy heard footsteps walking towards him and then a pair of hands were gripping the collar of his white button-up shirt. He turned his head to see Jisoo in his face, with an expression so angry that Jeonghan wasn't sure how to react. It happened so quickly that Seungcheol barely had time to react himself.

"YOU! It's all your fault!' he growled. "Because of you, Seungcheol blamed himself for 8 years! He blamed himself for your stupid actions!", Jisoo yelled, his voice filled with rage. "Do you have any idea how much pain he dealt with all this time while you disappeared to who the hell knows where?! He has night terrors because of you! Were you thinking about him at all when you jumped? You're selfish, Jeonghan! Selfish!"

Jeonghan's back was up against the wall, their faces not far apart, but he managed to maintain a blank expression and took it all in without a fight.

Seungcheol managed to get up and pried his best friend off the blonde boys neck.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?", Seungcheol spat. His expression the angriest he had ever seen him wear.

Jisoo looked back at him, his emotions almost mirroring Seungcheol's. But instead of just anger, there was also hurt, frustration. He gave Jeonghan one more glance before heading towards the door, leaving the two with a tense and awkward feeling in the air.

"I'm sorry", Seungcheol said softly. "He's not usually like that, he's a great guy honest-"

"Why?" the blonde interrupted Seungcheol mid-sentence.

'What do you mean?"

Jeonghan looked up at Seungcheol, his face still blank. "Why would you blame yourself? Why would you think that because I attempted suicide, you had to blame yourself?"

Seungcheol swallowed, a lump in his throat began to build, making it impossible for him to find his voice. The blonde had started to walk pass him.

 _No, not again. I just got you back and I refuse to let you go_. Seungcheol grabbed Jeonghan's arm and pulled him into a hug, having no intention of letting him escape, he held on tightly.

"Do you remember what you said to me while we were taking a walk in town, the day of Christmas Eve?", he asked gently.

Jeonghan nodded once.

"Well... I was an idiot back then. I didn't pay close attention. I heard you, but I didn't listen." Seungcheol cleared his throat and continued. "When you said those things, I didn't think of it as anything more than just questions. But you wanted me there when it happened, you wished I was there to save you, to convince you to step back over the ledge."

Before he knew it, his tears were already falling, soaking Seungcheol's sweater.

"I'm so sorry Jeonghan", his voice breaking. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there... I'm sorry", he repeated.

He was absolutely right. In all honesty, Jeonghan did want Seungcheol to be the one who came after him, he wanted Seungcheol to be the one yelling and pleading for him to keep on living. But the boy from earlier was right too, Jeonghan was selfish. He didn't think about how his selfishness could hurt the boy who loved and adored him. The boy who had been sobbing right in front of his very eyes. The one he still loves and adores with every fiber of his being.

Jeonghan waited a little, letting Seungcheol relax and catch his breath before he spoke up. "Seungcheol", he whispered. "Please don't blame yourself anymore. Please let go of what happened, and promise me you'll move on from this", he said all the while running his fingers gently through the boys dark locks. Seungcheol nodded, "I promise".

A few minutes passed. _Jeonghan, you'll never forgive yourself_. "I'm sorry, too."

Seungcheol raised his head and looked at him with confusion. "Why are you saying sorry?"

Jeonghan was going to hate himself for the rest of his miserable life. But he couldn't bare to see Seungcheol like this anymore.

The blonde boy looked at Seungcheol, dead in the eye. "I was only using you."

Seungcheol's arms dropped back to his sides. He chuckled a little, "What? I don't understand what you're saying?"

Jeonghan did his best to keep his composure, ignoring the fact that Seungcheol looked hurt. "I used you, Seungcheol. You really thought we had something? I used you as a distraction, you were nothing more than an outlet. So I suggest you just forget about what happened that summer, up until that night....and up until now." he said flatly.

_Pathetic, you're pathetic, Jeonghan._

Without another word, Jeonghan left the room. Leaving Choi Seungcheol with nothing but an empty space, where his heart used to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading ily all~ See you next chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long to update! Life stuff :p Here's a late, spicy Halloween chapter!

Seungcheol lay quietly on his bed. Yet another restless night. He watched as the red digital numbers changed on the clock that rested along the top of his night stand beside him. He didn't know how long he'd been staring at the clock, he didn't even know what day it was. Truthfully, it's not like he actually cared. Seungcheol felt as if he got the life sucked out of him. Broken, withering away inside and to be honest, he didn't look all that great on the outside either; a shadow of his facial hair showed, very sightly, his eye bags probably visible from a mile away, his eyes tired and lifeless. He hasn't gone to class for awhile now, let alone even bothering to leave the apartment. Seungcheol couldn't bare to face him, he knew that damn well.

_Being in love...it hurts...if I knew it hurt this much..._

Footsteps approached, followed by a soft 1, 2, 3 knock at his door.

"Hey... Cheol?", Jisoo said from the other side. "If you're hungry I made breakfast."

No response.

Jisoo opened his mouth to speak again when Seungcheol opened the door. It's been awhile since he saw Seungcheol, oddly enough they didn't cross paths at all even though they were roommates, as if he had been avoiding him on purpose. The latter examined Seungcheol thoroughly, his eyes getting a good look at how his best friend was in the worst condition he's ever seen. He's had flings before and never bothered to commit to anyone, and nothing effected him like this. Makes sense since his childhood sweetheart basically ripped his heart right out of his chest after 7 years of whatever the hell was going on, right? His eyes settling on Seungcheol's, he tried to speak again. "Cheol... I'm-"

"Thanks." Seungcheol said quietly, cutting him off. He stepped past Jisoo and walked over to the kitchen. Jisoo noticed the light stench coming from Seungcheol's room, realizing he hasn't been showering either aside from not eating. How am I supposed to help him?, he thought to himself while the images of the blonde boy's blank face popped into his head; a voice that was his, yelling, unfamiliar.

Jisoo shook his head and forced the memory out.

The sudden sound of glass breaking filled the air and Jisoo covered his ears instinctively. He turned around to see Seungcheol staring blankly at what seemed like red and white pieces of glass that nearly covered the entire kitchen floor. Jisoo stood there for 2 seconds before finding his voice.

"Seungcheol do not move from that spot." his voice stern. He rushed over to the closet near the bathroom, pulling out a broom and quickly walked over towards the broken glass. To make sure he got every piece, Jisoo swept multiple times and even went over the the area with Clorox wipes trying to ask Seungcheol what happened but getting nothing out of him. After declaring that it was safe to walk around, he noticed Seungcheol still standing in the same spot but this time, his face was buried in his hands. Seungcheol dropped to his knees.

Jisoo rushed over to his side. He was just a foot away from Seungcheol, his hand held out but he wasn't sure how to comfort his best friend, then he heard him say "Jisoo...have you ever been in love?". His voice was so low, so raspy that Jisoo almost couldn't pick up what he said.

He let his hand fall onto his lap. Shocked at the question, unsure of what to say. No one ever asked him if he's been in love before, and quite frankly he's not sure himself. He took a glance at Seungcheol who had quietly shifted his body so he was now hugging his knees to his chest, looking blankly at the tiled floor.

Jisoo has never seen him look so vulnerable before it made his heart twist in the most disturbing way. He sat cross-legged next to Seungcheol, his back against the fridge.

After a few moments, he spoke. "Possibly...I think I still am, but I don't think anything will change." he said it out loud but it seemed like he was talking to himself.

Seungcheol lifted his head slowly and looked at Jisoo. "With who?" he asked. This was news to him, the school Prince falling in love, who would have thought. Not like he was a player or anything but to be fair he did have a lot to choose from.

"It's a secret." Jisoo said with a small smile, a hint of sadness behind his voice. Seungcheol's ears picked that up. His gaze never broke from Jisoo, remembering the day in the nurses office, he got up and began walking towards the bathroom. Jisoo got to his feet and stared after him in confusion when Seungcheol turned around right before reaching the door.

He glanced at the calendar. _October 30th. Holy shit_. He glanced back at Jisoo who was still staring at him with a confused look. He took a deep breath. "It was  
Jeonghan who got me that cup. He thought it was funny to get me a red and white one since it was almost Christmas- reminded him of candy canes. I never understood his humor but I always found his jokes funny." Seungcheol, lost in thought, quickly snapped out of it looking over at his confused best friend.

"Get ready," he said all of a sudden. "I may feel like shit but I don't like seeing you so down because of me." Seungcheol was determined, after what happened that day, he wanted to make sure his best friend had a fun Halloween. "There's a small festival going on at Cheonggyecheon Stream later this evening for Halloween. Let's go shopping for decorations and head over there later."

Jisoo's face lit up in excitement, but not for long. "Cheol, about that day...with Jeonghan...and me getting upset," he began. "I wanted to apologize for the way I acted. I was just so angry and I don't know what came over me. I'm really sorry."

Seungcheol softly smiled and walked over to Jisoo, resting his head on the latters chest. "You're an idiot. I wasn't upset with you, to be honest, I thought you were mad this whole time. I knew you were doing that for my sake. There's no reason to be sorry."

 _Is that why he's been avoiding me? If anyone here is an idiot, it's you, Choi Seungcheol_.

Jisoo sighed. "You know, we really should communicate better so this doesn't happen again" he said and took a step back to look Seungcheol in the eyes. He could tell his best friend was in a bad state of mind, his eyes seemed a shade darker, filled with hurt and sorrow as if it reflected the emptiness he held inside him. "Here's an idea, how about you go take a shower and rest while I go shopping for decorations. You look like a dead man...and you smell like one too."  
Jisoo teasingly pinched his own nose.

"Hey!" Seungcheol yelled and attempted to hit his shoulder but Jisoo dodged it just in time. _There he is_ , Jisoo thought to himself.

"Stop playing around and wash up!" Jisoo said, still chuckling. "And please do take your time..." he added under his breath.

Seungcheol caught that last part, nothing got past his ears. He narrowed his eyes and hummed, "Fine."

 

* * *

 

 

After Jisoo left, Seungcheol made his way to the shower. He undressed and turned on the water to let it heat up. He caught sight of his reflection and jumped, not recognizing the stranger who was standing in front of the oval mirror. Seungcheol examined himself; noticing he lost color in his lips and face, dark circles formed under his eye bags, his body slimmed down from all those days of skipping meals and not eating properly. His hair was longer, pointing in different directions, along with the shadows of his facial hair that was now visible. Oh man he really did look like shit.

Seungcheol stepped into the tub and stood under the shower head, his arms propped up on his elbows as they rested on the beige colored tile walls, letting the hot water engulf and run along his entire body. The water felt incredibly relaxing against his skin it gave him goosebumps, his eyes rolled to the back of his head as he closed them slowly and his lips parted slightly, his breathing slow and steady. He stood there for what felt like hours until he finally decided it was time to lather up properly, the smell of his Axe body wash filling the bathroom. The mirror was foggy by the time he finished, he wiped it away and saw just how long his hair had gotten. It practically fell over past his eyes. Seungcheol groaned and slicked it back, glanced around the bathroom and spotted what he was searching for; a pair of scissors and a buzzer.

 _Alright, let's try not to fuck up your hair, Cheol_. He began trimming it carefully, until he reached the length he was satisfied with, right below his thick eyebrows. Now let's get rid of this monster residing around your mouth, he shaved almost a months worth of facial hair. Seungcheol gave himself one last look. "Well at least you know how to clean up nicely" he said with a sigh and made his way out the bathroom.

Seungcheol threw on a white t-shirt and checkered boxers, not bothering to wear shorts. He walked to the living room which was still silent, plopped on the couch and flipped through the channels. Not knowing just how tired he was, he quickly fell asleep with the remote in his hand.

 

 

 

_The air around him was cold, Seungcheol brought his hands up to his mouth trying to warm them up. He was surrounded by brilliant lights hanging all over the town. Getting a better look, he realized he was in Seoul. His eyesight adjusted to his surroundings; the trees bare from the winter air, replaced with what looked like Christmas lights, people walking around his in coats and scarves, clouds of air escaping their mouths as they laughed and conversed with one another. He turned around to see a Christmas Tree towering over him, but he noticed the boy with blonde hair standing in front of it almost immediately._

_The boy's back was faced towards him, but as soon as he could feel Seungcheol's gaze settle on him, he turned around. The corners of his lips pulling up, revealing a smile so soft and angelic it made Seungcheol feel as if the Winter air was no longer around him. All he could do was stare at the boy in awe as he made his way up to Seungcheol. Even in dim lighting his delicate features were amazing; his golden-blonde hair framing his oval face, high cheekbones, a pointed nose, his eyes a deep warm brown below his eyebrows that were shaped into a decievingly perfect arch, and his peach colored lips that were slightly chapped due to the cold weather. Seungcheol stared harder, but this time in a daze. How is it possible for anyone to be this beautiful?, he thought._

_Seungcheol was so struck by his ethereal beauty that he didn't even notice the boy had no intention of stopping in front of Seungcheol as his lips were suddenly pressed against his. The warmth of the boy's lips put him in a light trance as he kissed him back. The pace of his breathing sped up just as fast as the beating of his heart. Seungcheol melted into him and wrapped his arms around the boy who much too soon, pulled away. Their eyes met, smiles lighting up on both of their faces as they tried to catch their breath. Seungcheol brought a had up to brush the boy's bangs out of his face and cupped his cheek in his hand._  
_"Jeonghan," he said, finding his voice. "I love you"._

_The blonde boy looked up at him with those beautiful round eyes and Seungcheol swore he could have seen them twinkle for the slightest second before the boy looked down again. Jeonghan lifted his head, "If you love me, come and find me" he said and began to walk away._

_Seungcheol, confused, tried to grab his arm but he feet were planted into the ground where he stood. Struggling to get his legs to move, all he could do was watch as Jeonghan walked further and further into the crowd. "Jeonghan wait!", he yelled. But Jeonghan had already disappeared into the night. Seungcheol looked around and his eyes caught site of a clock. 10pm. In that moment, he instantly knew what was about to happen. He began to struggle more, desperate to break free of this hold. The sounds of ambulance sirens wailing in the distance. "No, no, no, no. Please no, not again", he cried out. He tried to move again but his legs wouldn't budge an inch. An ambulance sped past him, another one appearing not long after but this one was dead center in Seungcheol's path. He struggled harder, hoping he'd get out of the way in time. The sirens beginning to get louder and the lights getting brighter, almost blinding him as it kept speeding towards him. He closed his eyes and brought his hands over his ears, everything went silent._

" _Cheol!_ ", he heard a voice yell.

Louder.

"Seungcheol!"

His eyelids flew open just as a hand met his cheek with a hard slap. Seungcheol's body reacted and he was on his feet, karate chopping the air with this eyes now closed.`

"Hey- OW! Seungcheol stop, it's me!"

Seungcheol looked at the culprit and kept on swinging at him.

"It's me Jisoo! Ow! Why do you keep hitting me?!"

"Because you slapped me in the face!"

Jisoo stepped out of Seungcheol's range and yelled. "You looked like you were having a bad dream so I tried to wake you up, I'm sorry!". He smacked  
Seungcheol's shoulder before quickly stepping back again. "This isn't exactly my ideal way to be greeted when walking into my own home either."

"Then use a different method to wake me up", Seungcheol said as he rubbed the side of his face that was now tinted red. He wanted to forget about the fact that Jeonghan was in his dream, he wanted to forget the one thing Jeonghan said. "Come and find me". What does that even mean? Jeonghan cut their ties nearly a month ago so he didn't want to think anything more of his dream. He then sighed at the thought of the gentle kiss they shared.

"Glad to see you still know how to shave."

He looked at Jisoo with narrowed eyes. "I'm heartbroken okay, not incapable of using my arms." Seungcheol joked, but Jisoo's eyes softened immediately.

Seungcheol noticed of course. "Hey c'mon I'm kidding", he chuckled and then his eyes began to widen in realization. " Wait! What time is it? I don't know how long I slept holy crap did we miss the festival?" He started pacing back and forth, not knowing whether he should get ready or wait for Jisoo to say "Yes we did miss the festival, thanks a lot".

Jisoo snickered at the sight of his best friend pacing around frantically and let it go on for just a bit more before chiming in. "Fortunately no we didn't miss it. But it starts in half an hour so if you don't get dressed within the next 10 minutes then we're going to be late."

"Crap!" Seungcheol muttered as he sped past Jisoo making his way to his room, slamming the door shut. A few moments later, Seungcheol was dressed; he wore a white turtleneck, a dark blue cardigan over it, wrapped in a black scarf, black jeans, and black boots. "Okay I'm ready let's go", he said and walked towards the front door.

Jisoo caught his arm, "No you're not. Did you see your hair?"

"My hair?" Seungcheol asked. He walked into the bathroom to find he had the worst bed head he's ever seen. What the hell. He quickly ran water through his dark locks, but this time instead of styling it down, he pushed his bangs up and gelled it in place.

Seungcheol walked towards the front door, his back to Jisoo as he laced his boots up. "Okay what about now can we go now?", he whined.

Jisoo rolled his eyes but laughed at how Seungcheol's hair style made him look like more of a puppy. "Yes, let's go."

They were out the door by 6:40pm.

 

* * *

 

 

To Seungcheol's surprise, the air was cool and crisp. It wasn't biting to the point where it made him feel uncomfortable, at least not yet.

The train ride to Cheonggyecheon Stream took almost an hour. It would usually take half an hour at the most but there was a slight delay due to the weather beginning to pick up. Not to mention the fact that the streets were crazy busy around this time of the year.

So much people, Seungcheol glanced to his left and saw Jisoo's face practically pressed against the train window with the silliest grin on his face. Well I guess he's having a good time so far.

Seungcheol was beginning to think they had already missed half the festival by now.

Not sure how much longer the ride was going to be, he closed his eyes and let his mind wonder. _Heh, a festival with...Jeonghan_. That'd be fun. He imagined himself feeding Jeonghan random food and stuffing his face. Playing games made for children. Winning prizes for each other. Talking about life, random things. Linking arms or even lacing fingers, seeing the lights from the lanterns dance and reflect in his warm, brown orbs. Being close again...

The thought of all of this reminded Seungcheol of his summer with Jeonghan. Everything around him constantly felt warm, not because it was summer but because Jeonghan was by his side. It made him feel something he's never felt. A beautiful, very welcoming feeling. Jeonghan, Seungcheol believed, was his home. Even though life sucked so badly right now, it wasn't always this way. There were lovely memories. Days where he'd laugh and smile. Days full of hugs, hand holding, kisses. Love. Jeonghan. He felt it all, he meant it all. Seungcheol wished they weren't just distant, fading memories buried and stowed away in the deepest part of his heart. Oh how he wished he wasn't so far from where he used to be.

_I want to be strong. To taste and feel that happiness I once felt. I want my scars to be healed. I want to love again. I want him. I want Jeonghan._

The train itself along with his train of thought, slowed down and came to a stop.

"Hey, Cheol are you asleep?" Jisoo poked at his cheek.

Seungcheol opened his eyes slowly, breathed in and looked around. "Are we here?"

"Fortunately, yes", he began. "But unfortunatey, the festival is practically over".

"You gotta be kidding me..." Seungcheol began mumbling to himself. "All because of this damn snow" "What do we do now?" "Damnit....shitty ass weather..."

Jisoo chuckled. "Hey it's okay. If you're up for it, let's walk around for a bit. Cheonggyecheon stream still has its' fountain lights on."

He looked up at Jisoo from his seat, almost resembling a child who didn't get their way. "Okay fine, let's go."

The air had grown colder. They had just gotten off the train when they noticed two familiar figures. The lovebirds. But they were in....costumes? They both had a vampire and werewolf vibe to their outfits. Except they were wearing all black instead of the stereotypical capes, fur, and fangs. Seungcheol had to admit that they looked damn good. Everyone else around them agreed, based on the whispers and smiles, some with their mouths gaping wide open.

"Ah! It's Jisoo and... Seungcheol!" Mingyu yelled and pushed through the crowd of stares.

"Well look at that, it's the lovebirds." Seungcheol smiled widely. "How are y-"

Out of character, in came a flick on Seungcheol's forehead from Wonwoo. It was so loud that it made Jisoo and Mingyu wince, their hands covering their foreheads. Wonwoo usually has a straight face but you could tell at this very moment, he was upset.

"Okay, OW! What was that f-"

"Where have you been for the past 3 weeks?!" Wonwoo hissed. "Do you have any idea how worried we were? We tried calling and texting but you wouldn't answer. You didn't even talk to Jisoo, your own bestfriend might I add, or let him know what was going on either."

Mingyu opened his mouth to speak but Wonwoo gave him a look so deadly that Mingyu didn't even dare to let his voice escape his throat.

Wonwoo sighed, and looked back at Seungcheol, his expression softer. "Seungcheol, you know we're here for you right? If there's anything, anything at all that's causing you trouble then we'd be more than happy to help in any way we can."

Seungcheol looked at the floor. "Yeah, I know. It's just been hard lately is all," he lifted his head and glanced at Jisoo beside him who was wearing a soft smile. "I already apologized to Jisoo, it was just a misunderstanding for the most part. Everything is okay now." he smiled back.

The lovebirds exchanged glances, nodded, and looked back the two standing in front of them. "How about joining us for a Halloween party?" Mingyu chimed in. "I mean unless you don't have plans of course."

Seungcheol's face lit up and he gripped Jisoo's forearm tightly. "Jisoo! Can we go?" Seungcheol's voice full of enthusiasm.

Jisoo looked at Mingyu, his expression observant. "Idunno... Whose party is it any way?"

"A good friend from our class. He's cool so don't worry about anything bad happening. He said it's an open party so we could invite a couple people. And you guys-" he pointed at them with both his hands, "-are those people."

Seungcheol wiggled with excitement, and stared at Jisoo, his eyes pleading.

Jisoo stared back.

And then Seungcheol did something he knew would win his best friend over. He puckered his bottom lip out and began to pout. The latters eyes widened, brows lifted, but only for a second before looking up to the sky and groaned in defeat. "Seriously sometimes I question if you're really older than me, Seungcheol."

Seungcheol snickered and said, "Only by a few months!" He turned to Mingyu and Wonwoo, "So where are we headed?"

Mingyu flashed his canine smile, really making him look like a vampire, he didn't even need those fake plastic fangs. "Not far from here, maybe a 15 minute commute if we drive, which we did, well Wonwoo did", he said. "Let's get going shall we!"

 

* * *

 

 

After driving along a road that seemed to last forever, curving and taking sharp turns, it was just as Mingyu said. A little before 15 minutes, they appeared at a huge, random house in a random neighborhood with random strangers dressed, some not dressed in costumes. Not sketchy at all.

Wonwoo had to park a couple houses down due to the amount of people who showed up, thus, resulting in a lot of cars as well. "Big house isn't it?" he said nonchalantly as he shut the door of his black, Audi A7. Fancy.

Seungcheol and Jisoo stared at the house in awe as it got bigger and bigger as they walked closer. The house had to be at least 3 stories tall. The first two floors were made out of picture windows which were only dominating the front of the house. The floor at the very top was wooden and it had small casement windows along the outside, guessing that's where most of the bedrooms were. Seungcheol could already tell that the interior had to be just as nice as the exterior. They walked along a stone path, passing a few other people, that lead to a door so high it could accomadate a family of giraffes. So far his gut was correct about everything being, well...high class.

Mingyu rang the doorbell. A few seconds passed before they could hear someone yell, "feet off the table dude!" from the other side, followed by the large door swinging open.

They were greeted by a boy dressed in a pirate costume. _He looks... familiar_ , Seungcheol thought.

"Hey you guys finally made it!" the boy said cheerfully.

"Thanks for inviting us, Jun." Wonwoo said and saw him glance at Jisoo and Seungcheol.

"Well, well if it isn't the Prince of the school! And Seungcheol! It's nice to finally meet you guys, I see you guys together around campus. I've always wanted to say hi but Mr. Pretty Boy here is constanty flooded with students around him..." Jun looked closer at Jisoo. "Wow you really are pretty!"

Jisoo felt his face get hot but schooled his embarassment and laughed. "Thank you, it's nice to meet you too, Jun" he smiled politely.

The boy smiled with glee, eyes sparkling. He then looked them both up and down and his smile disappeared. "Oh no no no. Unacceptable. You guys didn't dress up? Come inside."

Seungcheol spoke up after he shut the door behind him. "Ah... we actually didn't plan on coming here until we ran into Mingyu and Wonwoo", he said.

Jun sighed and scratched his head with the fake hook he had been holding, looking at the other two in approvement. "Good job you two", then turned his attention to Seungcheol and Jisoo. "Well, no problem! I've got random stuff you guys can throw together. This is a Halloween party afterall so it'd only be right to dress up!"

He then yelled out behind him, switching tongues... Chinese. Not long after, a boy with curly blonde hair and doe-like eyes appeared behind his shoulder. They both spoke in Chinese for a minute before turning their attention back to them.

"Minghao here is going to show you the way upstairs so you can get changed." Jun nodded towards the curly haired boy.

He stepped foward and bowed. "It's nice to meet you both." He flashed a dazzling smile.

Wonwoo chimed in and said "Hao! Nice costume! Little Prince, right?"

Minghao's face lit up and he then turned to Jun with a dark expression. "See, I told you someone would know who I dressed up as. You owe me 5 bucks."

Jun waved him off. "Alright, alright. But let's get these two dressed up shall we?"

Seungcheol and Jisoo were too busy paying attention to how the house was just as fancy inside as it is outside. Jun then pushed them towards a glass staircase. Cheol felt ike it would break if he stepped on it, he stared down at it until he felt a hand at the small of his back.

"Something wrong?" Minghao asked, with a worried expression. "Stair phobia?"

Jisoo laughed at that comment. Seungcheol jokingly pushed him and began to head upstairs.

"This is some place. Does Jun live here alone?" Seungcheol was curious, this pad was crazy nice.

Minghao's eyes widened and then laughed. "Definitely not. But his parents are very successful lawyers. They're out on a business trip right now. Who goes on a business trip during Halloween?" he trailed off.

The trio made their way up to the third floor, they passed maybe 5 doors before Minghao led them to a room at the end of the hallway that had not one, but two doors. Damn.

Minghao opened the doors and good God the room was huge. White interior, everywhere. The ceiling was pretty high too, it had lights above that looked like it belonged in a dance studio. Seungcheol and Jisoo walked around, jaws practically at their feet. On the left, there was a king-sized bed with a massive headboard at a lower level of the floor. On the higher level there was an L shaped sofa, a small table in the center, and in front of it was a 60 inch TV hanging from the wall. Seungcheol gravitated towards the door next to the bed that led to a bathroom with a tub, more like a jacuzzi with jets and all. A glass door shower big enough to fit 10 people. Along the side were two sinks and two rectangular mirrors above it, embedded into the wall. Everything looked like it was made out of marble. It probably was.

He made his way out the bathroom and saw Jisoo standing at the picture windows which took up the entire side of the room, opposite of the bedroom door. This place was way out of their comfort zone and he could tell his best friend thought the same thing by the look of his jaw still hanging as he turned to Seungcheol. His expression read, _"how could anyone afford a place so damn luxurious?"_

"I don't even know." Seungcheol whispered, looking around.

"You guys done with your little tour?" Minghao teased. He made his way over and handed them a bin that had Halloween Stuff written on top. This bin was probably the least luxurious thing they've seen so far. "Pick anything you like, it's a bunch of Jun's old costumes and Halloween make up that he never bothered using."

Seungcheol grabbed the bin and exchanged glances with Jisoo. "Let's do this."

 

 

"Not bad, not bad." Minghao said as he examined Jisoo and Seungcheol.

Jisoo chose a priests robe, and rocked it well, mind you. Seungcheol threw on a ripped up, white button up and decided to cover it with blood, along with the sides of his neck too.

Jisoo looked at Seungcheol. "Team Edward?"

Seungcheol laughed. "Is it obvious?"

"Wait a minute are you... wearing contacts? Is that why you took so long in the bathroom?"

"In my defense, you can't get that Edward vibe without the ever so dazzling, honey-like eyes right?" Seungcheol bat his long eyelashes. "Minghao saw what I was going for and gave them to me. I was hesitant at first but once I tried them on, I couldn't feel it at all."

Minghao grinned. "Those are good for one day so no need to worry about what to do with them afterwards."

After cleaning up and gathering their clothes, they stored it away in one of the empty drawers and began to head downstairs.

 

 

They reached the bottom floor and saw Jun in the kitchen talking with Wonwoo and Mingyu. The kitchen had black interior, countertops, refrigorator, stove, everything. There was an island in the midde with 3 lights hanging from the ceiling, and a couple of bar stool chairs surrounding the island, which is where Jun and the lovebirds were settled. Jun's eyes found them and he gasped. "Woooow good job you two!", he said with a wide smile. "Thanks Haohao, you did a good job taking care of them."

Minghao smiled proudly.

"So, you guys want something to drink? Mixed, shots, beer, champagne, you name it." Jun offered.

"Beer." Seungcheol said quickly.

"Coming right up." Jun said as he made his way to a nearby cooler.

Good thing Seungcheol wasn't the one driving, but that's when Wonwoo interrupted.

"Hey if you're going to drink then make sure you limit yourself, I don't need you throwing up in my car." he said sternly. Mingyu laughed his high-pitched laugh behind Wonwoo. "And you too!" he scolded. Mingyu shamefully looked at the red solo cup in his hand.

"Yes mom." Seungcheol said with a high voice. Jun threw Seungcheol a can of beer and looked at Jisoo who was now talking with Mingyu.

"And for you?" Jun said.

Jisoo looked at him, confused for a second until he saw the cooler open. "Ah maybe later. I'll take a water for now if possible."

Jun giggled. "Coming right up."

Seungcheol opened his can of beer and chugged a few gulps. It's been awhile since he last drank, he couldn't even remember when that was. The five of them stayed in the kitchen for awhile, drinking and talking about random things. It was mostly Jun explaining to Cheol and Jisoo about his family being able to afford such a nice house since they had been so curious from the start.

A few hours passed and Seungcheol could feel his body getting warm from the alcohol. He was buzzed for the most part and decided to walk around for a bit. He noticed Jisoo made his way to the couch and was sitting with a boy who looked like he was dressed up as Harry Potter? They were sitting in front of the TV, watching a cartoon that had a boy who looked like he was wearing an orange jumpsuit with yellow spiky hair on the screen, singing along with the background music.

Seungcheol chuckled and turned around to explore the rest of the house.

 _Ah, what a nice place_. He made his way to the second floor which didn't have as much people as the bottom floor. Seungcheol was pretty happy about that since all the noise was a bit too much for him. It looked like a lounge up here. A smaller kitchen to his left, a pool table, and a bunch of bean bag chairs in the middle. The lights were pretty dim and gave off a very laid-back feeling. To his right was a hallway, there were two doors on either side of the walls and at the end of the hall there was another door that was cracked open, music escaping through.

Seungcheol looked around and made his way down the hall. Classical music? Interesting.

He peeked through the crack. Next thing he new his entire head was in the doorway and he didn't think this house could get any cooler. He made his way inside what looked like a mini library. _Is there anything the Wen family didn't have?_ , he thought it awe.

The record was playing softly on the turntable next to a grand antique chair. Seungcheol recognized it. _Beethoven Fur Elise_.

There were shelves built into the brick walls along either side of the room and in the middle there were smaller shelves in shapes of a square that held more books and also records. He walked further down the aisle and found a spiral staircase that led to a second floor. Seungcheol made his way up and saw a short walkway that led to a sliding door at the very end. This place is just full of secrets huh.

Seungcheol reached the sliding door and what he saw next was breathtakingly beautiful.

A large patio. There was a small fire place with a circular couch surrounding it, there was also a jacuzzi tub closer to the sliding door. At the very top of the house, he could practically see the whole city below. The view was amazing, not to mention the sky was clear and all the stars were out tonight. Seungcheol was so intrigued with the sight that he didn't even notice there was someone sitting by the fireplace.

The fire reflected beautifully off... blonde hair... with the ends dyed red and blue?

Seungcheol walked closer to get a better look, holding his breath.

They finally noticed Seungcheol's presence and nearly fell off the couch.

"Holy shit at least make some noise to let me kn--", pausing mid-sentence, the blonde squinted and finally realized.

They were both frozen in place, eyes locked on each other, the cold air whistling softly around them. A breeze picked up causing Jeonghan's hair to caress the sides of his cheeks.

Seungcheol's hands twitched, the familiarity and remembrance of Jeonghan's silky hair brushing against his fingertips. He licked his lips and cleared his throat to speak, his mouth dry. "H-hi." was all he could manage to say.

To his surprise, Jeonghan chuckled. That alone made Seungcheol's legs want to buckle under him, and this time his body was even warmer. Not because of the fire, or the alcohol in his system, but because he felt the way he always did when he saw Jeonghan. As if he was falling in love all over again.

Jeonghan sat back down on the couch and picked up a can of beer that was near his feet and took a sip. "Fancy meeting you here."

At first Seungcheol couldn't tell because he wasn't fully facing the fire until he sat down, but Jeonghan's face was red, eyelids heavy. He's drunk.

"So what brings you here?" Jeonghan said. "Looks like you did some intense exploring, it wasn't exactly easy finding this place."

Seungcheol was slightly thrown off at how nonchalantly Jeonghan was speaking to him as if nothing happened 3 weeks ago, but he digressed. He slowly made his way to the couch, sitting on the opposite side of the drunk blonde. Oh man. He looked good.

"Harley Quinn." Seungcheol said flatly.

Jeonghan looked down at his black blazer then touched the ends of his hair. "Correct", he said with a hiccup. "Not bad huh, what do you think?"

Seungcheol looked up at him in surprise. "What?"

The blonde rolled his eyes. "How do I look?"

 _He can't be serious right now..._ , Seungcheol thought to himself. He gave Jeonghan a good look. His eye make up suited him well, that's for sure. Black and red never looked so good on someone. His eyes wandered down Jeonghan's body. The red button up was actually unbuttoned until it reached his chest, revealing smooth, bare skin.

"You look great." Seungcheol's voice cracked at _great_.

Jeonghan noticed and chuckled, taking the last few gulps of his beer. "Not so bad yourself, Cheollie."

Seungcheol could literally feel his eyes bulge out of their sockets. "What did you just call me?"

"Don't act like I haven't called you that before", Jeonghan said as he furrowed his brows. "Cheollie and Hannie. That was our thing remem--"

"You're drunk." Seungcheol said firmly and looked at the latter. As much as he was enjoying Jeonghan's presence, in the back of his head burned the memory of Jeonghan's words while they were in the nurses office.

Seungcheol stood up and turned around, unable to look at the boy. "Look, Jeonghan, I don't know what you're trying to do but..."

He suddenly felt arms wrapped around his torso, a head resting in the middle of his back. The warmth made him shudder. Seungcheol let out a harsh breath, but stood still.

"I only had one beer," Jeonghan began to say. "Is my face red? You know I get embarrassed easily around you."

Seungcheol closed his eyes, trying to focus on the rhythm of his breathing. He took a step forward and turned around to face Jeonghan, their faces inches apart. Seungcheol, heartbroken, still couldn't believe how in love he was. He looked Jeonghan in the eyes and saw the stars reflecting off of them. _Just as I remembered them_ , he thought.

Jeonghan smiled for a second before parting his lips and letting 3 words slip through. "You found me."

The blonde could barely inhale before Seungcheol was suddenly on his lips. A small moan escaping Jeonghan's throat made Seungcheol go into a frenzy. His hands wandered roughly starting from Jeonghan's face, then his neck, his broad shoulders, and then wrapping around his back. He pressed Jeonghan into his chest, not bothering to come up for air, Seungcheol's hands found Jeonghan's hips and he gripped them tightly while Jeonghan tried to stifle his voice.

The kiss was rough, their teeth grazing each others. Seungcheol parted Jeonghan's lips with his own and let the tip of his tongue trace the shape of Jeonghan's lips before letting it enter the inside of his mouth. All they could really taste was beer but they hardly focused on that and let their hot breath fill each others lungs.

Seungcheol's hands were still on Jeonghan's waist. He gripped them even tighter before moving to his ass, using both hands, he began to rock against Jeonghan's bulge with his own. The friction and desire was painful under the layer of fabric, it wasn't enough. Seungcheol pulled back, his lips puckered and pink from the amount of sucking Jeonghan did. The blonde was practically panting, his eyes filled with lust.

That's when Seungcheol really lost it.

He threw Jeonghan on the couch and mounted him, kissing him again but not as rough as before.

"Take your shoes off." Seungcheol said, his voice husky.

Jeonghan did so immediately and not even a second later, Seungcheol almost ripped his slacks off, his boxers getting tangled into them. He threw it on the other side of the couch and then gripped the latters shirt, forcing it open, the sound of buttons hitting the ground followed, revealing his beautifully toned torso. His eyes wandered further down and saw how big Jeonghan was, at that point he looked like he was ready to explode. Seungcheol sat up and gazed at Jeonghan, his eyes glinting. He's never seen anyone so delicate and alluring. Seungcheol leaned in, getting close to Jeonghan's face and smiled seductively before kissing his neck. More licking and biting than kissing really.

Jeonghan's eyelids fluttered as his eyes rolled to the back of his head; his lips slightly parted, his breath ragged.

The dark haired boy made his way down, breathing heavily against Jeonghan's soft skin, grazing his tongue along his body. The slow tension made Jeonghan want to rip Seungcheol's hair out. But Seungcheol was enjoying himself too much, he wanted to kiss every single inch of Jeonghan, to feel him; flesh, bones, bruises, and all.

"Seungcheol," Jeonghan pleaded.

The latter looked up and the expression Jeonghan wore was the sexiest, fuck-worthy face he's ever seen in his life.

Seungcheol tore his own pants off, he could already feel his cock throbbing even more, his pre cum visible through his boxers. That's when Seungcheol realized he didn't know a damn thing about having sex with another guy. Sure, he's thought about his before but it never actually happened until now.

He froze for a second before giving himself a little pep talk in his head.

 _How are you gonna get this far and not realize until the moment it's about to happen, that you have no experience in having sex with another guy? Damn it, Seungcheol_. He shook his head. He had to think fast. That's when he decided to do something he never thought he'd ever do in his life.

Seungcheol spit in his hand, wetting his own cock and began to stroke himself. He then gripped Jeonghan's, making Jeonghan's back arch, another breathy moan escaping his lips.

"Fuck," Seungcheol whispered. "You're so hot."

After a few more strokes, Seungcheol bent down and let his mouth graze along Jeonghan's other. His lips finally taking in the tip of the latter.

Jeonghan's fingers found their way to Seungcheol's hair and grabbed a fistful of his locks. That made it a bit difficult for Seungcheol to move his own head up and down but somehow he managed to move in a rythmatic motion with Jeonghan in his mouth. His tongue; long, soft, and hot, flicked Jeonghan's tip and then circled the head slowly. Seungcheol's mouth was salivating more than usual which helped him give Jeonghan the satisfaction he needed. He could feel Jeonghan getting bigger and harder.

He was just getting the hang of it when a growl escaped from Jeonghan's mouth. "Seungcheol," he breathed. "I'm close."

Seungcheol was ready to burst, and began to stroke himself faster along with Jeonghan who began a slow rotation in his hips.

The blonde caressed either of Seungcheol's thighs, making him vibrate in pleasure. His hands wandered and fondled Seungcheol's balls, the dark haired boy threw his head back with a loud, breathy moan.

Jeonghan felt Seungcheol stiffen when he finally climaxed, Jeonghan coming not long after.

Seungcheol collapsed. His arms and legs sprawled out on the couch, eyes closed, as his breathing evened out. _I just met Jun and I already defiled his patio_. He felt the couch shift under him and opened his eyes to see Jeonghan cleaning himself with a towel he grabbed nearby, probably stored away for the jacuzzi. He tossed one to Seungcheol and got dressed.

Seungcheol couldn't help but stare as Jeonghan buttoned his shirt and combed out his hair with his fingers.

"Not bad," Jeonghan said, snapping Seungcheol out of his llittle daydream. "Although that's not what I thought was going to happen."

Seungcheol felt his face get hot and stood up to put his pants back on. "I-uhm, well I don't exactly... have experience in sex with another guy."

Jeonghan laughed. "Yeah I could already tell." The latters face getting even hotter.

"But it's not like I didn't enjoy it." Jeonghan said softly, remembering Seungcheol turning into a completely different person while filled with lust. That's a side he didn't think he'd ever get to see. It was interesting.

He felt a presence in front of him and looked up, meeting Seungcheol's gaze.

"Nice contacts." he said.

Seungcheol smiled a wide gummy smile. "Thanks, Minghao lent them to me."

Jeonghan sighed. He watched Seungcheol's eyes wander, like he was trying to remember every detail of Jeonghan's face.

Seungcheol lifted his hand and let his fingertips caress the blonde's lips before cupping his cheek. Jeonghan rested his head into the warmth of Seungcheol's hand. He looked up at the dark haired boy. "Somehow we managed to cross paths again", Jeonghan said. "I guess now is a good time to tell you everything that happened after the incident."

Seungcheol's breath got caught in his throat before inhaling, his eyes hardening, before giving him a sharp nod.

"This would be good-" Jeonghan hesitated. "It'd be a good chance for us, to start over again."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the frustration, the truth, and the unforgivable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what to say except that I'm soooo sorry it took months for me to update. Holidays, I kept getting sick, it was a new year and my laptop kept crashing and also writers block grrrr. I'm so so sorry ;; But I hope you enjoy this chapter! Lots of talking, and I ended it on a sweet ;) note wink wonk hehe. Feedback appreciated, see you all next chapter! <3

"OH SHIT-", Jisoo bolted up from the couch. A sharp pain creeping up, he could practically feel his brain pounding against his skull.

He looked around to see that the party had died down a bit, it was still quite loud but you could tell there were a handful of bodies that left.

"Damn what happened." He then felt the couch sink in a little, he looked to his right to see the boy dressed as Harry Potter, holding a bottle of water in front of his face.

"Ah, thank you…uhm..."

"Seokmin", the boy smiled brightly.

"Seokmin, thank you." He took the water and drank it in less than 5 seconds.

The boy shifted his weight and cleared his throat. "Who knew the School Prince was so capable of taking in that much alcohol", he teased. "I still can't believe you made up a silly game."

Jisoo nearly choked. "What? What game? Oh God what did I do?", he began to panic.

"Well…" Seokmin trailed off.

 

 

[Flashback]

 

_"Agggghhh!", Jisoo let out a long, exasperated sound after practically slamming the shot glass on the table. He could hear Jun chuckling in the kitchen, probably at his reactions to the taste of soju._

_He looked at the boy dressed as Harry Potter who was copying the hand motions of Naruto while yelling "rasengan"._

_"Hey… you, want to play the drinking game?" Jisoo slurred._

_Harry Potter boy didn't even look at Jisoo but answered, "Sure. What's the rules?"_

_Jisoo sat up straight. "Very simple. Every time Naruto says "dattebayo" you take 2 shots, every time you see Kakashi reading his rated R book you take 1 shot, and whenever Sasuke ignores Naruto then it's 3 shots."_

_"I'm down." Harry Potter boy said with a smirk._

 

 

[End of flashback]

 

 

"You're not exactly a lightweight but when it hits you, it really HITS you. It's kind of funny but also a relief knowing that the School Prince likes anime", Seokmin said as he sat down and placed his own bottle of water on the table.

"What? Why?" Jisoo asked, his eyebrows furrowed. Seokmin shifted uncomfortably. "Well isn't it considered nerdy to like anime? Idunno, you're not exactly nerdy."

Jisoo nearly choked. "Uhm, thank you, I think", he chuckled softly, "No one really asks me what I like so I never bothered talking about it".

"Oooooh…" Seokmin nodded. Jisoo could feel his head pounding as he tried to massage his temples. "Jesus Christ, I'm an idiot. Why did I even think of such a stupid game, I can barely remember anything." He looked at Seokmin who seemed to be in good condition, and more than comfortable to keep Jisoo company as he got back to his senses.

"Need anything? Food? More water? Maybe you should empty your bladder", Seokmin chuckled.

At that moment, Jisoo shot up from the couch and desperately ran towards the bathroom.

Seokmin was smiling widely, almost laughing, when Jisoo returned to the couch. "Feel better?"

"Much." Jisoo said in relief as he sat on the couch and, to his surprise as well, rested his head on Seokmin's lap.

Seokmin clutched his own hands to his chest, not sure where to place them. "Sorry", Jisoo said with a gentle voice. "My head hurts, I'm just gonna nap… for a b…it…."

The sight of the sleeping School Prince made Seokmin feel like a kitten was taking a nap on him.

"Alright" he said, and decided to cross his arms so he doesn't wake Jisoo up.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Seungcheol waited patiently for Jeonghan to talk.

"This whole thing is just fucked up really." the blonde chuckled.

Seungcheol kept quiet, all he could think about was how much he wished he was there at Han river that day. Jeonghan looked more broken than ever.

"I'll make it as simple as I can," he sighed. "But I won't leave anything out either. You deserve the truth." Jeonghan's breath hitched. "I wasn't completely lying when I said I was only using you. That day we first met, when you had told me I was prettier than most people you've met," he paused while Seungcheol had a mini coughing fit. "I got home that day and thought to myself, 'he's a good guy, kind of an airhead and let's things go past his head sometimes.' I was lonely and merely wanted company, something to numb the pain and distract me from the world. At first I didn't think anything of you except for that, I'd repeat it to myself constantly but only because I found myself falling for you."

He looked up at Seungcheol who was now staring at the fire with a blank expression. "Go on", he said without giving Jeonghan a glance.

Jeonghan sighed. "That day of the incident. Everything I held in me built up. I was more upset that day, seeing everyone happy with each other just pissed me off even more. My mother was out doing God knows what. I couldn't find you at all." His voice was nearly a whisper. "When I woke up in the hospital, I saw my mother sleeping at the side of my bed. She heard me wake up and started spouting nonsense as if I was the most precious thing in this world to her. It was weird honestly, like her personality switched."

"All I wanted to do the moment I woke up was to tell you that I was okay, and I'm sorry I was being selfish." Jeonghan said.

Seungcheol had the urge to punch something, but his poker face never cracked.

 

[flashback]

 

_"Hey mom, by any chance did a boy with dark hair, about the same height as me come in here to visit?"_

_The memory of a boy running towards to ambulance flashed into her head. She looked confused and then smiled. "No sweetie, not that I know of."_

_Jeonghan was young, but he always knew when someone was lying._

_He sighed. "Ah, okay. Could you let me know if anything about him comes up? He's special to me._

 

[end of flashback]

 

 

"Apparently she had told the staff to keep a look out for a boy with dark hair and had them keep any information of me being there a secret. We packed up and left the day I got released from the hospital. She wiped out our identities. It's like we were dead to South Korea."

 _That damn bitch_ , Seungcheol thought to himself.

"We ended up moving to the country with my grandparents. My mother wouldn't let me out of her sight unless I was at school, where I was also under strict surveillance. Her weird switch in personality resulted in me not being able to see you, or even send you a letter. But I did find out later that you did try to visit me." Jeonghan smiled sadly.

"You silly kid, you went to every hospital to try and find me."

Seungcheol was visibly angry at this point, his fists clenched so hard that you could see the whites of his knuckles, eyes still locked on the fire in front of them. Jeonghan noticed and immediately placed his hand over Seungcheol's.

"But the moment I turned 18, I left. My grandparents knew how unhappy I was even when I was laughing or smiling, so they gave me all their support along with an apartment they own just in case they ever wanted to visit the city. My mother was against it of course and hasn't spoken to me since I made the decision to leave, but she knew this day was coming."

A few seconds passed. "Even after I woke up in the hospital, I couldn't find you. Even a year after that…5 years…7 years, I couldn't find you." Jeonghan's voice cracked but he continued. "After all this time, thank you for loving me. And remembering me, Seungcheol."

Seungcheol looked at him with glassy eyes. Jeonghan ran his free hand through his black locks and made his way down to wipe a tear that had escaped the latters eyes. "This is why I said what I said in the nurses office that day. It's painful to see you cry. But knowing that it's my fault, it's even worse. I thought that not having me in your life would help you forget but that wasn't the case at all," the blonde said. "You hadn't come to school since then, I was wondering if you had left."

He was hesitant to talk but continued. "That boy who was with us in the nurses office, is he a friend? I wanted to ask him if you were doing okay but every time I looked at him he was just glaring so I had the feeling he wasn't going to answer to me."

Seungcheol felt embarrassed about Jisoo nearly attacking Jeonghan but he remembered he only did that because of Seungcheol. "Yeah, he actually apologized to me about that, but I think it's you who deserves an apology-"

The latter quickly placed his had over Seungcheol's mouth. "No, he was right. I was being selfish. I'm a confusing and selfish person and I sure as hell don't deserve you. I shouldn't have left so easily. I'm sorry, Seungcheol. I'm so sorry for everything, I'm sorry I hurt you." he cried.

Seungcheol moved Jeonghan's hand and held it to his lips, placing a kiss there while waiting for Jeonghan to catch his breath.

The memory of Jeonghan saying 'come find me' in Seungcheol's dream had popped into his head. He couldn't help but chuckle. "I think it was you who found me," he said quietly. "I don't know how you did it, Jeonghan, but I'm glad you did."

Jeonghan looked up, a bit confused. Seungcheol leaned in to kiss the blonde. Once, twice, thrice, the last one being held the longest. He pulled Jeonghan close to him. "I missed you so much", he whispered.

They stayed like that for a few moments and then Seungcheol tried to brighten the mood. He smirked. "Now, how ever will you make this up to me? A date maybe?"

The latter smiled and said, "How about a date…and more of what happened earlier?" he teased.

Seungcheol nearly choked but cleared his throat and smiled back. "I'm down."

A minute passed before Jeonghan realized they were still on the balcony at Jun's house. "Maybe we should head back downstairs, your friends are probably worried."

He got up but Seungcheol pulled him back onto the couch, practically koala hugging him. "5 more minutes", he said as he nuzzled the crook of Jeonghan's neck, wearing a smile that showed his dimples and all his creases. Jeonghan couldn't help but smile as the image of 13 year old Seungcheol popped into his head.

 _I missed you more_ , Jeonghan thought to himself.

 

 

* * *

 

 

" _Jisoo_."

"Rasengan!" he yelled as he got up from the couch.

Seokmin was chuckling behind him. "Looks like that Naruto drinking game is going to haunt you forever."

Jisoo looked back to find Harry Potter boy in the same spot since he had fallen asleep. He sat back down and drank the rest of Seokmin's water, who didn't seem to mind at all.

"Agh, my head still hurts," he said as he rubbed his temples. "What time is it? Did I sleep long?" Jisoo asked.

"Not really, maybe an hour. It's half past midnight right now." Seokmin said.

Jisoo looked around. He saw Jun and Minghao talking in the kitchen, but Wonwoo and Mingyu was nowhere to be found. He didn't see Seungcheol either. His brows furrowed when Seokmin interrupted. "If you're looking for your friends, they went to the lounge."

"Lounge?"

"Yep, the floor right upstairs."

Jisoo sighed and began to head towards the stairs but stopped in his tracks and turned around. "Have we met before? You look familiar."

Seokmin smiled. "We go to the same college. I'm 2 years younger but we're in the same psychology class."

Jisoo's eyes widened.

"I know right, what's a sophomore doing taking such a high level psychology class", Seokmin shook his head.

 _Huh, smart kid. Why is he at a party with a bunch of older people?_ Jisoo thought.

Seokmin could see Jisoo was curious. "Minghao is a close friend of mines too, which is why I'm here."

Jisoo could feel his face get warm. "Well, anyways, thank you for taking care of me. I really appreciate it."

The boy smiled brightly. "No problem, treat me to lunch and we'll call it even."

"Deal." Jisoo laughed and walked towards the stairs. _Again, how is this place even real?_

He walked up the glass stairs to find Mingyu and Wonwoo playing pool with 2 other people, one looked like he was only 5ft and the other reminded Jisoo of a hamster for some reason.

"Jeez you suck at this", the shorter one said as he threatened to whack Hamster boy with the pool stick.

"To be fair, you chose me as your partner, so don't complain." the other boy said. The shorter boy glared and continued to finish his turn.

"Wow look who's finally awake." Mingyu said as his eyes found Jisoo.

Jisoo walked over to the pool table and greeted the other two boys.

"Nice to meet you!" said Hamster boy. "My name is Soonyoung."

"Nice meeting you too", Jisoo said politely. Soonyoung gasped.

"Wow he really does seem like a prince." The shorter of the two poked Soonyoung in the rib, making him spazz out and take a few steps to the side.

"Don't mind him, he's an idiot. My name is Jihoon, nice to meet you." he said and held his hand.

Jisoo took it and bowed. "Likewise." He looked around, "where's Cheol?"

Wonwoo looked puzzled. "I don't know, I haven't seen him since he went wandering around the place- oh, Jeonghan!"

Jisoo turned around to see the blonde boy walking out of the hallway and towards the stairs, his shoulders shot up to his ears as if he was about to get in trouble.

The blonde turned around slowly. "Ah, Wonwoo, fancy meeting you here."

"You know that pretty boy?" Mingyu asked, stealing glances at Jeonghan.

"Yeah, Soonyoung, Jihoon, and I helped him find his classes and gave him a tour of the campus on his first day." Wonwoo answered.

Jeonghan bowed politely at Mingyu, then his eyes met Jisoo's.

"You," Jisoo said quietly and walked over to Jeonghan. "Where's Seungcheol?"

As if on cue, Seungcheol appeared from the hallway but quickly turned around after seeing his best friends' glare.

"Choi Seungcheol." Jisoo said, who was now glaring at Jeonghan.

The dark haired boy turned back around just as quickly and stood in front of Jisoo, his eyes darting back and forth between the blonde and the brunette who looked like they were having a staring contest.

"Enough," Seungcheol said sternly. He grabbed Jisoo by the arm. "I'll explain to you when we get home." Seungcheol looked at Mingyu and Wonwoo, "Let's go."

He then looked back at Jeonghan with a slight smile. "I'll see you later."

"See you later." Jeonghan smiled back.

The four left quietly while leaving an awkward feeling in the air when Soonyoung appeared at Jeonghan's side. "Do guys fight over you all the time?" he asked.

"AGH!" Soonyoung was suddenly on the floor, his hands rubbing the back of his head.

"Don't be so rude!" Jihoon said between his teeth. Jeonghan laughed.

"It's fine," he gave a pat on Jihoon's shoulder. "See you at school."

 

 

* * *

 

 

The car ride back home was awkward and quiet. No one spoke except for the occasional scolding from Wonwoo telling Mingyu how he better not throw up in the car.

Wonwoo slowed to a stop in front of the apartment building and Jisoo was the first to get out.

"Sorry about tonight, thanks for inviting us out." Seungcheol said with a tired voice.

Mingyu was about to talk when Wonwoo slapped his hand over the latters mouth, thinking it was best not to ask about what had happened earlier. "No problem, get some rest. We'll see you on Monday," Wonwoo's voice changed and he sounded like a mom. " _At_ school."

Seungcheol chuckled. "Yes, at school. See you." He got out of the car and waved them off, then made his way upstairs to the apartment.

_God, I'm way too tired for this._

Seungcheol walked into the living room where Jisoo had been waiting. _I ought to just end myself right now,_ he thought to himself.

"Please do explain." Jisoo said.

Seungcheol sighed as he sat down next to Jisoo. A few seconds passed by. "You know, it wasn't his fault for what happened. His mom wouldn't let him see me after the incident, let alone anyone." Seungcheol said.

The latter looked at Seungcheol. "It doesn't change the fact that you had night terrors and practically shut down as soon as September would come around for the past 7 years." he said.

"What am I supposed to do about that? I can't change the past. What's done is done, Jisoo. No use crying over spilled milk." Seungcheol spat back.

"Someone's whipped." Jisoo said under his breath.

Seungcheol shot up from his seat facing Jisoo.

"Shut the fuck up, you know you talk big as if you know what I'm feelings and exactly what I had to go through."

Jisoo froze. "No, I don't know what you had to go through, but I was still there by your side."

 _Son of a-,_ Seungcheol sighed. He ran his hand through his hair and sat back down. "Look, all I know is that I do love him, and I don't think that's ever going to change no matter how long he's away. I just need you to take that into consideration and at least try to accept it."

Jisoo stood up. "Fine," he said and turned around. "I'm doing this for your sake, but don't expect me to be okay with it at this exact moment. It'll take awhile."

Seungcheol smiled and lazily draped an arm around Jisoo. "One more thing."

"What?" Jisoo sighed.

"You have to apologize about what happened in the nurses office." Seungcheol said, his voice stern.

There was confusion in Jisoo's face. "I already did-"

"To Jeonghan."

Jisoo closed his eyes. "Ah, right."

"Good," Seungcheol said as he walked towards his room. "Get some rest."

"You too." Jisoo said.

Seungcheol nodded and closed his room door.

Jisoo laid back on the couch and looked through his phone.

 

 

**_1 New Message 1:24am_ **

 

**_From: Harry Potter Boy_ **

_Did you get home safely?_

 

Wait, when did we exchange numbers? Probably when I was a drunk mess. He shook his head.

 

_**To: Harry Potter Boy**  _

_Yes, thank you again. What about you?_

 

"Send." Not even 3 seconds passed when Jisoo's phone vibrated, making him jump.

 

_**From: Harry Potter Boy** _

_Yep! I saw you leaving with your friends so I didn't get so say bye :p_

 

 Jisoo chuckled at the emoticon when his phone vibrated again.

 

_**From: Harry Potter Boy** _

_S_ _o technically it's already Sunday, how about that lunch you promised to treat me to? Around noon? We should get hot pot, you might wake up with a hangover. Oh, speaking of, make sure you drink a glass of water before bed._

 

I guess it wouldn't hurt to get something warm, definitely not looking forward to that hangover, Jisoo thought to himself.

 

_**To: Harry Potter Boy** _

_Haha, sounds good. I'll see you then. Goodnight :3_

 

_**From: Harry Potter Boy** _

_Sleep well. Goodnight :D_

 

Jisoo smiled and made his way to the kitchen to drank a glass of water before heading to his room.

 

_2:00am_

Seungcheol was restless, but he had to sleep. He was going on a date with Jeonghan afterall.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The alarm went off.

 

_9:00am_

Seungcheol woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed, with, of course, no hangover.

 _Not like I drank much anyways,_ he thought.

"A date with Jeonghan," he whispered and squeezed his pillow between his arms full force, looking like a high school girl who got a text from her crush. Seungcheol threw his pillow down and walked towards the bathroom but stopped in his tracks to check if Jisoo was awake. 

"Hey Jisoo, you up?" he knocked.

Jisoo's door flew open. He was wearing his hair down, and wore a baby blue turtleneck with a white long sleeve over it.

"Woah, I almost didn't recognize you." Seungcheol said.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Jisoo smiled. "See you later, I'm going to run errands and eat hot pot."

"By yourself?" Seungcheol asked as Jisoo walked past him towards the front door.

Jisoo chuckled and turned around. "With a friend, see ya." he said before walking out the door.

"Alright then." Seungcheol waved at the closed door then made his way to the bathroom to shower and clean up.

 

 

"Agggh! What am I? A teenage girl?," he yelled while more and more clothes piled onto his bed. "Why is it taking me so long to find something to wear?"

Seungcheol bit his lip. "Well, I guess this is okay." He had his hair styled down, and wore a black turtleneck with a thick, long black coat. _All black is always a good look,_ he thought to himself _. I look mysterious, like you want to get to know me but I'll be like 'nah', and brush you off_  . Seungcheol struck a few cool poses.

He walked away from the mirror and walked back to it, looking at his reflection. "You are so embarrassing sometimes."

Seungcheol ran a hand through his hair. _Why am I so nervous…I literally just saw him yesterday without a problem. Get it together, Seungcheol._ He slapped his hands on either side of his face and looked at the clock.

_10am_

_Garosugil. 11am. Garosugil. 11am.,_ he was chanting to himself as he walked towards the front door and slipped on his black boots. Seungcheol couldn't stop smiling and wore a goofy grin almost the entire way there.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"It's this one." Jisoo said as he showed Seokmin a manga book that was titled ' _One Piece_ '.

"Ah! Put it away, I don't like being reminded of Ace's death!" Seokmin closed his eyes and clutched his chest.

Jisoo put the manga back in it's place and smirked while he skimmed the rest of the shelves when something, more like someone, caught his eye. A head of blonde hair walked past the window in front of the store.

"Hey, I'll be right back." Jisoo said to Seokmin who was now sitting in the floor, focusing on the manga he had in his hands.

"Okay." he said without looking up from the pages.

Jisoo quickly walked out the door but the blonde was nowhere to be seen. He looked around a few times more before the blonde walked out of the coffee store, one door over, and began heading the opposite direction of Jisoo.

"J-Jeonghan!" he called out.

The blonde stopped in his tracks and looked back with his coffee cup still pressed to his lips and froze as soon as he realized who was calling him.

Jisoo walked over to him, "Got a minute?" he asked.

Jeonghan hesitated, eyeing the brunette up and down with suspicious eyes before nodding.

"Listen, I'm sorry for what happened that day at the nurses office. I just got really angry and I don't know what came over me. And I'm also sorry for always glaring at you," he paused. "Seungcheol told me about what happened and why you weren't around."

Jeonghan was wearing a soft smile. "Thank you for apologizing, but you had every right to call me selfish and be angry. I can't even forgive myself for leaving so easily."

Jisoo kept listening.

"I know I don't deserve Seungcheol. But it doesn't mean I won't do everything in my power to try and make it up to him," Jeonghan looked Jisoo in the eyes. "I'm staying by his side no matter what."

The brunette laughed. "Well, to be quite honest, I wouldn't expect anything less from you," he said. "But just because you're Seungcheol's boyfriend and all doesn't mean I'll forgive you so easily either. Got it?"

Jeonghan's breath hitched at the word _boyfriend._ He cleared his throat before answering, "Of course."

"Take good care of him, he's more sensitive than you think." Jisoo smiled and turned around.

Jeonghan watched as the brunette walked into the doors and disappeared.

"I will."

 

 

* * *

 

 

_10:40am_

Seungcheol reached Garosugil at the perfect time. He was a bit early so he decided to walk around on his own a bit and look around, he passed a clothing store when something caught his eye.

 

 

Jeonghan had been sitting patiently in Coffee Chu café where he and Seungcheol had decided to meet up, he had gotten there right when it opened up and decided to order a churro. The blonde glanced at his watch.

_11:05am._

_He's late_ , Jeonghan thought to himself, but right when the thought left his head, he could see Seungcheol running towards the entrance of the café but came to a halt to look at his reflection and fix his hair.

Seungcheol went inside and stopped right in front of Jeonghan, his hands on his knees while trying to catch his breath. "S-sorry…I took so long…I was-," he looked up and felt his breath get caught in his throat.

"Woah." That was the only thing that came out of Seungcheol's mouth.

Jeonghan had his hair out of his normal ponytail, he wore a fit, black sweater with a black jacket over it. Along with black pants and a fedora.

 _Wow he looks better in black than I do_ , Seungcheol thought as he continued to stare at the blonde.

"You're only 5 minutes late, no biggie," Jeonghan flashed a wide smile. "I'm happy to see you again."

Seungcheol's breath hitched. "I'm happy to see you too."

A few seconds passed. "You just gonna stand there or are you going to sit? I ordered you a latte, hurry and drink it before it gets cold." the blonde said.

"Ah, thank you," Seungcheol sat down and looked at the little white cup that had a heart deisgn in it. _How cute._ He took a few sips. Perfect temperature.

"Speaking of cold," Seungcheol reached for the bag that Jeonghan didn't even notice he had been carrying. "This is for you, I was late because I stopped at a store to buy this."

Jeonghan could feel his face getting warm. "You didn't have to get me something, seeing you is enough."

This time it was Seungcheol who was getting red. He looked down, "Just open it."

The blonde chuckled and removed the tissue paper to find a red scarf at the bottom of a bag, and sitting on top of it was a little keychain. Jeonghan grabbed the keychain and looked at it carefully, it was a tiny woven rabbit, maybe the size of a quarter.

Seungcheol watched carefully for his reaction, but only got lost in his own thought. He couldn't stop thinking about how much he loved the boy sitting his front of him. So lovely, so endearing. _How can someone so beautiful exist?_  The way his eyes drooped slightly, his peach colored lips and fair skin. Thin but long eyelashes and not to mention, high cheekbones that were tinted a slight pink. This is something Seungcheol wanted to see everyday. _I want him, and only him_. It was the only thing that ran through Seungcheol's mind as he watched Jeonghan closely.

"Thank you." the blonde said and interrupted Seungcheol's train of thought.

Seungcheol cleared his throat and snapped back into reality to find Jeonghan had put the scarf on.

"It looks good on you, it's cold outside too so make you wear it at all times-" he stopped mid sentence as he watched Jeonghan get up from his seat and plant a kiss on Seungcheol's cheek. Jeonghan's smile was beaming. "I love it."

"I love you." Seungcheol blurted.

_Oh you've done it now._

The blonde chuckled and placed a hand on top of Seungcheol's hair, patting it gently. "I know," he said with a soft smile. "If you're done with your latte then let's get going, we should walk around, it's nice outside today."

He stood up quickly and chugged his latte, leaving a cream mustache behind. The blonde giggled and wiped it away with a napkin.

They both made their way out the café and officially started their day.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Jeonghan really couldn't keep still. There were too many things that caught his eye as they walked around, he'd run up to windows and stare at something for 5 seconds, then something else would catch his eye and he'd go running again. Seungcheol was exhausted by noon, but he kept note of all the things Jeonghan would look at since Christmas was coming up.

 _Christmas._ Seungcheol thought. _It'll be the first Christmas we get to spend together since the incident._ He sighed and tried to shake off the thought of 8 years ago.

Seungcheol was tired, but he wasn't complaining. The sight of Jeonghan smiling happily before him gave him all the more reason to keep up. It was already 4pm and the weather had started to get even more chilly. The blonde looked back at Seungcheol who was looking up at the trees while steadying his heart rate. _Not exactly how I imagined this date_ , he laughed under his breath.

"Want to grab a bite?" Jeonghan noticed Seungcheol was slowing down.

Seungcheol nodded. "How about pizza?," he suggested. He led the way to Ace Pizza, stealing glances at the boy beside him. That warm feeling taking over his body for the thousandth time today. Only him, always him.

 

"Ahhhh I'm so full!" Jeonghan yelled as they walked out of Ace Pizza, a take out bag in his hands. He looked over at Seungcheol who already had his eyes locked on the blonde.

"What?" he said, feeling nervous.

"Nothing," Seungcheol said. "You just…you can eat- _a lot._

Jeonghan scoffed and lifted the bag he was holding. "I'll be taking your leftovers too."

The latters eyes widened. "I payed for that, it's rightfully mines!" Seungcheol tried grabbing it from the blonde's hands but he was always one step ahead of him.

The game of pizza tag went on for a few minutes until Jeonghan placed a hand in front of Seungcheol, making him look at the latter with confusion.

"I'll let you take the pizza, if you walk me home." the blonde said. He looked Seungcheol up and down. "I don't live far from here."

Seungcheol snatched the bag from his hands. "I was planning on walking you home anyways." _Isn't it kind of early to leave already though?_   he sighed.

"Oh." Jeonghan said and burried his face into the red scarf, he went to reach for Seungcheol's hand but Seungcheol thought he was trying to take the pizza bag again so he stumbled back with the silliest expression, his lips in a pout with his eyes squinted.

"Fine, if you don’t want to hold my hand then don't." Jeonghan turned around and tried to stifle a giggle. He felt warmth engulf his hand within a matter of seconds, Seungcheol opened his hand to lace Jeonghan's fingers with his own. Jeonghan looked down, letting his hair create a curtain so Seungcheol wouldn't see him smiling like a complete idiot. But Seungcheol, who was also smiling like an idiot, caught him anyways and continued to walk.

They reached Jeonghan's apartment building within 10 minutes. Seungcheol looked up at the glass building in awe.

"Want to come up for a bit?" he heard a voice say. He looked back down at Jeonghan with wide eyes, to his left, his right, and then back at Jeonghan.

"What? Me?" he said with a small voice and pointed to himself.

The blonde looked around. "Well I mean, there's no one else around. So yes, you."

Seungcheol gulped and suddenly felt warm again, his heartbeat going faster than ever. "Okay, sure." he managed to say.

 

The inside of the lobby was white with brown accents. A woman at the front desk was on the phone and held it to her chest to greet the both of them and continued her business. Tables on either side of the lobby with a few chairs and a couch surrounding it, there was even a mini fountain dead center of the waiting areas. As they passed the fountain, there were 4 elevator doors down a small hallway, and as soon as they entered the hallway, the ceiling was incredibly high. They get into the elevator and Seungcheol glanced at Jeonghan who had been resting his head against the wall with his eyes closed. _Just what exactly did his grandparents do,_  he thought.

They reached the top floor and reached the end of the hallway where Jeonghan slid his card key and opened the door. "Welcome to my humble abode," he said as they stepped inside.

Seungcheol couldn't believe his eyes. _Holy shit, this place is just as big as Jun's parents' room, maybe bigger._

The interior was beige with black furniture. It had a full kitchen, a living room with a 60 inch screen TV built into the wall, a master bedroom with a full bathroom too. Seungcheol looked back at Jeonghan. "I thought you said this was an apartment."

Jeonghan hung his jacket and hat on the rack near the door but kept the scarf on. "Is it not? Well, a condo then." He shrugged, "My grandparents used some of their retirement money on this place, it was cheaper than usual since they're good friends with the owner of this building."

Seungcheol was still looking around when Jeonghan spoke, "Did you want to shower? I have some extra clothes, although they might be a bit tight on you."

He thought about how nice it'd be to take a shower after practically running around all day. "Ah, yeah sure."

"Okay," Jeonghan placed the take out bag in the fridge and made his way to his room. "You coming? Bathroom is in here."

Seungcheol didn't even realize he was frozen in place. He followed after Jeonghan and walked into the bathroom, the latter walked in a few seconds later with a towel and clothes.

"Take as long as you want," he said. Jeonghan turned around when Seungcheol grabbed him by the waist and pulled him into a long and desperate kiss, as if he's been holding himself back all day. He slipped his tongue into Jeonghan's mouth and held him even tighter. He went with it and he could feel Seungcheol getting hard when he stopped the kiss abruptly. The blonde pulled back.

 _There it is, that look again_. Seungcheol's eyes were dark, filled with lust, and locked on Jeonghan.

"Shower." Jeonghan said sternly. "I know you're tired."

Seungcheol smiled and bit his lip, his eyelids heavy. "I won't be long."

Jeonghan chuckled nervously and walked out the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He crawled into his bed and hid under the covers. _Jesus Christ! It's like he's a whole different person when he's horny, I barely even recognize him!_ He was lost in thought, he took off his scarf and clutched it.

"The last time this happened, it was kind of dark so I could barely see his face. But seeing him under bright lighting, oh God." His breath becoming ragged. The thought of Seungcheol dominating him that night made Jeonghan whimper. _His voice was so deep, and he was rough yet gentle. Wait, why did I think it was a good idea to invite him up?_

Jeonghan heard the shower stop. He flung the covers off and ran to the kitchen, grabbing a juice pouch to look nonchalant and not like he had just been fantasizing about the boy who was in his shower. He drank slowly and waited for Seungcheol to get out of the bathroom. Seungcheol opened the door, wearing the white t-shirt and sweats that Jeonghan had provided for him while the towel was on his fairly wet hair. _Oh god he looks hot_.

The sight of Seungcheol in such clothes, in Jeonghan's bedroom felt strangely normal as if he and Seungcheol had been living together for years. It was comforting in a way.

"Well at least the clothes aren't too tight," Jeonghan said. "I'm going to shower now."

Seungcheol hasn't said a word yet but as soon as Jeonghan walked pass him, Seungcheol whispered. "You should shower _after_  you get dirty."

Jeonghan stopped right before the bathroom door, his breathing slow and steady.

A hand found his wrist, he turned around as he felt Seungcheol's arm coming around his waist. Seungcheol stepped forward, making Jeonghan step back, and guided him to the bed. He gently laid Jeonghan back onto the mattress where he was pinned to his bed, under a very hot and bothered, and unrecognizable Seungcheol.

"Beautiful," he whispered as he analyzed the blonde who was suddenly out of breath.

Jeonghan unconsciously wrapped his arms around his neck and grabbing a fistful of his hair. Seungcheol closed the space between them and was on Jeonghan's mouth in a second, lips on lips for a few moments until their breathing became ragged.

They were both still fully dressed and Seungcheol wasn't about to let it stay that way for a second longer. He undressed Jeonghan first, revealing his smooth flesh, and threw the clothes on the side of the bed. A pair of hands gripped Seungcheol's shirt and lifted it over his head. Seungcheol was on his knees and admired how sexy Jeonghan looked. His hair was messy, lips slightly parted, beautifully toned torso, and pre cum visible on his stomach.

Before Seungcheol could make a move, Jeonghan's hands gripped Seungcheol's biceps and he somehow managed to flip him over.

"Oh?," he said, while raising an eyebrow, he voice huskier than ever.

Jeonghan's lips found his collarbones, he kissed and mouthed them while his hand found it's way to Seungcheol's nipple and began to rub his thumb over it. Then used his other free hand to stroke Seungcheol, He arched his back and began to rotate his hips to match Jeonghan's strokes.

"Yes." Seungcheol gasped. Jeonghan pressed a kiss to his jawline, back to his neck, and then his lips. Seungcheol released his grip from the bed sheets and moved to Jeonghan's hair instead.

"How long are you going to keep teasing me?," he said with a crooked smile. At that moment, the switch in Seungcheol was a bit playful this time. He sat up and smirked, but his lust-filled eyes stayed the same.

"Am I in trouble?" Jeonghan said, while still straddling Seungcheol.

Seungcheol hummed. "Yes, you kept me waiting for too long." He flipped Jeonghan back over and pinned his wrists above his head with one hand, he wet a few of his fingers and gently began to stretch Jeonghan's ass.

This was new.

Jeonghan felt a bit nervous, but to his surprise, Seungcheol had made it feel better than he imagined.

"Someone did their research," Jeonghan said with a breathy voice.

"I'm going to make you feel good, don't worry." Seungcheol whispered as he slipped another finger into him.

A rather loud moan escaped from Jeonghan's mouth and he had an idea of what was gong to happen next.

"Fuck." He heard Seungcheol growl. Impatience took over him and he lost it. Jeonghan felt Seungcheol grip his thighs, pulling him closer.

Seungcheol spit into his hand, wetting himself more and slowly glided into Jeonghan.

He was in, but didn't move an inch after that. "Relax, baby."

Jeonghan was clenching his teeth, he was tense and held his breath but as soon as he relaxed himself, it wasn't as bad as he thought.

A few seconds passed before Jeonghan pleaded. "Th-the drawer."

Seungcheol immediately opened the drawer next to them and found a bottle of lube. He squeezed some onto his hand and used it to stroke Jeonghan.

 _I meant for my ass_. Jeonghan thought, but Seungcheol used the excess amount for himself making Jeonghan less tense. He felt a sense of relief and let out a breathy moan. As soon as he could feel Jeonghan completely relaxed, he pulled out, leaving in just a few inches and rocked back into Jeonghan.

Seungcheol, already in his frenzy mode, gripped the latters hips and grunted with every thrust. He bent down and Jeonghan met him halfway as they kissed. It was messy and Jeonghan just kept getting louder.

That made it all the more enjoyable for Seungcheol. He pulled back from the kiss and buried his face into the crook of Jeonghan's neck, listening to him plead and cry for more, to go faster, harder. And Seungcheol did as he was asked, but only for a few seconds, until he pulled out.

Jeonghan's eyelids shot open immediately and boy, Seungcheol was huge, not just his erection but his entire body too.

"On your hands and knees. Now." He did so immediately, and waited while Seungcheol coated his cock with more lube and slid in a lot more easier this time. Jeonghan's eyelids fluttered and his arms collapsed, his ass still in the air. He managed to get back up on his elbows and looked back at Seungcheol, his face pink, hair sticking to his skin. "Fuck me," he pleaded.

Seungcheol grabbed a fistful of his hair and began thrusting faster, harder, deeper. Jeonghan couldn't stifle his moans anymore and was nearly yelling at this point. He felt as if he was about to break, his cock was throbbing and he was close. He gripped and stroked himself, god he was so close.

The latter pulled out again and practically whipped Jeonghan back over, slamming him onto the bed and entering him again.

To avoid smashing him, Seungcheol propped himself onto his elbow and kept a good rhythm going while Jeonghan rotated his hips, matching Seungcheol's thrusts almost perfectly. His nails dug into Seungcheol's back as his eyes rolled back.

"You make the sexiest faces." Seungcheol whispered, as he watched Jeonghan clench his jaw, growl through his teeth and bite his lip. He could tell Jeonghan was seconds away from cumming and decided to slow down.

Jeonghan was out of breath. "S-seungcheol."

The dark haired boy chuckled. He kissed Jeonghan's neck, letting his teeth graze along his sweat covered skin.

"What do you want?" Seungcheol whispered. "Hmm? Tell me what you want, baby."

Jeonghan could feel Seungcheol cup the side of his face. His eyes fluttered open to meet Seungcheol's dark eyes only a few inches away, gazing back at him.

"You."

Seungcheol smiled and pressed a kiss onto Jeonghan's pink lips, keeping it there and started to rock deep and slowly into him.

Somehow it felt even better for Jeonghan, the hairs on his arm rose and he could feel every inch of Seungcheol.

Seungcheol started to quicken the pace but Jeonghan placed a hand on his hipbone, hoping he would catch on. And he did, he kept the pace slow but pushed in deep. Jeonghan broke the kiss and moaned, "I'm close." He was gripping onto Seungcheol's neck, the friction between their stomachs rubbing at his cock.

Not even another second passed when suddenly he could feel his cum spooling onto his stomach, every breath coming out as a moan.

Then Seungcheol quickened his pace, and came a within a few seconds, one hand tightly gripping Jeonghan's ass and the other in his hair.

Jeonghan listened to Seungcheol's muffled moans of relief, he was still right above Jeonghan and the blonde watched as the latters eyes rolled to the back of his head, _God, he's gorgeous._ The dark haired boy collapsed and knocked the air out of Jeonghan.

"Holy shit…Seungcheol get up, you're crushing me." he choked.

Seungcheol shifted himself so that he was halfway off and giggled.

 _I guess that's better._ Jeonghan sighed, and looked down at the boy smothered into his collarbone. He felt content.

"I could get used to this," Seungcheol said sleepily. "Holding you."

Jeonghan smiled. "Me too."

After a few moments passed, Jeonghan tried to squirm out of Seungcheol's hold. The latter grumbled.

"You know, it'd be nice if you could release me so I can shower-" Jeonghan paused. "Come join me, you're dirty too."

Seungcheol let go and looked at the blonde. "You're right."

They walked to the bathroom and Seungcheol led Jeonghan into the large tub and filled it with hot water, he didn't mind that it was hot. It was soothing for the most part, every part of his body ached. He watched as the water filled up around him when Seungcheol finally decided to join him.

"Put your head back," he said. Jeonghan did so and Seungcheol began rinsing out his hair. He grabbed the shampoo and massaged it into Jeonghan's scalp. The blonde hummed and let himself be pampered. Seungcheol even combed conditioner through his hair and washed his back. "You're like a child."

"It's not everyday someone gives me a bath. Let me enjoy it." he said lazily with his eyes closed.

They stayed under the warm water for a few more minutes not wanting to face the cold air.

 

After they were done washing up, Seungcheol helped Jeonghan blow dry his hair, more like watched in amazement but who's keeping track. Jeonghan changed into his comfiest pj's and ended up giving Seungcheol a hoodie to wear along with another pair of sweats.

Jeonghan warmed up the pizza from the fridge and they ate in a content silence, stealing glances at each other and giggling when either of them got caught.

After they ate, Jeonghan replaced the bed sheets with clean ones. Seungcheol was the first the plop onto the bed, he opened his arms, inviting Jeonghan as if it was his bed.

"Are you forgetting that this is my place? You sure know how to make yourself comfortable." Jeonghan said.

Seungcheol chuckled, his arms still open. "Come on." The latter rolled his eyes but gave in anyways and crawled into Seungcheol's lap, letting his head rest on his chest and quietly listened to Seungcheol's steady heartbeat.

"Jeonghan," Seungcheol said, but paused for awhile as he combed his fingers through the blonde's hair. "Stay with me, okay? Don't leave me again."

A hand was placed over Seungcheol's mouth. Jeonghan turned around and moved his hand to the back of Seungcheol's head and pressed a kiss onto his cheek, then his nose, his eyelids, his forehead, and then his lips.

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

Seungcheol smiled, but it was almost kind of sad. "I'm holding that against you." He laid down and Jeonghan followed. Seungcheol fell asleep within a matter of seconds.

The blonde sighed and cupped the dark haired boys face, admiring his long lashes. "I'll do whatever I can to make it up to you," he whispered. "No matter how long it takes." He pressed another kiss onto his forehead.

"Goodnight, Seungcheol."


End file.
